Ingemar's Blog of Sundry Goodness

So my brain reminded me I had a Blogger account

2011-08-05T17:13:00.000-07:00

And I was very unpleasantly surprised.

I'm probably not gonna do anything significant, here. Not yet.

To a certain cosplayer

2007-07-03T22:11:00.000-07:00

Changed my mind. Look for the Cosplay.com account "Cephas"

No April Fools gag here

2007-04-01T21:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry folks, move along.

At peace

2007-03-09T23:11:00.000-08:00

Times like these, when everything around you is going rougher than planned (a best case scenario) or completely falling apart (worst case scenario), are times when you learn to cope.

It is all a part of the adult life which I have been masterfully avoiding for twenty years now. I sometimes fear for my finances and my grades (especially those, when I am at the twinkling twilight of my undergraduate career) but I learned to say two important words:

Fuck it.

Or, for the more PG-audience, "This too shall pass." But I've heard that one phrase enough to make my ears bleed. That, and the beautiful cacophony of my disyllabic declaration soothe me to the soul, for some very weird reason.

Yes, I know given the temporal proximity of this post to my last one, you may think this is about my essay. It's only partially about that. There are other things biting my ass and the essay is just one of the more "colorful" posterior-hunters. I do know that the final will be a rather easy format that I like and if I study my ass off for that, it may make up for however badly I fuck up on my paper.

Fuck this

2007-03-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

It's Essay Time again.

Socratic dialogue with a Naturalist

2007-02-04T00:10:00.000-08:00

Yet another problem I have with the atheistic philosophy and paradigm is that of its profession of Naturalism and its simultaneous unprincipled exception (to borrow from Lawrence Auster) towards the behaviour of man.

That is, while everything in the world comes from Nature and operates solely by its laws, humans are somehow special and different. Why are humans special different?

Because of their capacity for speech and higher brain functions.

And how did this difference arise?

Through random mutations accumulating over eons, in a process we know as evolution.

And because of this, Man is special? There are bugs that have abilities unimitated by other species so why don't we give them special rights and privileges?

Because they are not our own species.

So they are not special?

No, they are special. Humans tend to be chauvinistic and not give a hoot-and-holler about creatures that aren't themselves.

If they are special, why don't we care about them?

Every creature is special. We don't care for them for reasons I just mentioned.

But that's weird... if every creature is special, then how can we say any one creature is special?

I , uh...

And furthermore, if all that is special about us happened randomly over events far beyond our history and capacity to change, why call anyone special at all? Surely a bug who can't talk now may in a billion years' time not only talk but gather fruit with telekinesis and regenerate its limbs in a matter of seconds--abilities I think are more "special" than talking and thinking.

You are being absurd. Don't be so evasive with your reductio ad absurdum and get back to the topic on hand.

You're right, right. What I meant to say was that the descendants of said bug would be endowed with all these special abilities.

You are doing it again!

Fine, I cheerfully withdraw my snide remarks. I realize I did not let you explain why any one creature is special.

Each organism occupies a certain niche in our ecology. Maintenance of that ecology is what lets all living things acheive balance in our environment.

Oh, it's just like how we cannot have a country full of lawyers because there will be no one to deliver pizza.

Uhhh, I suppose. In our environment are producers, consumers, predators, prey, decomposers and many other jobs. Take out any one player in the game, and it is all ruined.

Oh, I see.... Wait, let me get this straight--what governing board keeps this ecology intact.

There isn't one.

Is that so? Why use the word "Maintenance?"

That is simply a term to make the whole system understandable to humans.

Oh, so now you're being chauvinistic! (chuckle) I'm sorry, don't get angry with me. You mentioned that this ecology includes decomposers and prey. Well, I'm glad someone out there is willing to eat my shit, but there are critters that need to die?

Haven't you ever stepped inside a McDonald's?

Good point, forget I said anything. But it does stand that there are necessarily some that get exploited and some that do the exploiting, right?

Yes, but as overexploitation rises, the exploiter declines in number until the exploited increases. This is one simple model.

Oh, this must be the "maintenance" you speak of. I'm pretty sure that this whole system is tightly regulated and though numbers flutucate in a microscale, they remain fixed in the macroscale.

No, creatures can evolve to be better hunters or be harder prey to catch.

And they do this randomly?

Uh, well, yes.

So creatures randomly, somehow, become better killers or harder to kill.

There is a direction to this--creatures that mutate advantageous traits will increase in number, while those with disadvantageous traits or neutral traits will fall by the wayside and die. This is natural selection.

Oh, but those creatures are special, right?

That is irrelevant.

But you said that all creatures occupy their niche in their environment, making them special. These critters that can't swing at their own weight class... they must really suck!

Where are you getting at?

Why bother calling creatures special if it is quite probable that they are destined to be replaced by creatures greater than they are, more "special" as it were?

Stop putting value judgements on these things.

Why? because they are not special, or because you are a nihilist?

.....

What is our niche?

And thus, a topic for some time in the future.

War against Christianity?

2007-01-12T21:45:00.000-08:00

I was inspired by Lawrence Auster's post here-- http://www.amnation.com/vfr/archives/007090.html

I find this book list rather compelling. A few of those titles mention "the right" so it may seem that the attack directed more towards the abuses of some people who happen to be Christians.

There is more to it than that. The qualifier "the right" is only there to soften the blow somewhat. Actually, a better way to put it is that the qualifiers like "right" "Republican" etc. are a type of Pavlovian conditioned stimulus that train people to think that all "Christians" are "radical rightist evil Nazis". This crap has been done to Catholics too--is there any secular source that fails to mention the Catholic Church without a mention of the Inquisition, Crusades, Galileo and the American child abuse scandal?

(Note to the reader: I am no liberal or leftist, but for the sake of argument I will assume that "rightism"= "evil". How it came to this in the mainstream setting is the subject of another post).

As long as evil deeds are conflated with Christianity, people will soon make the (erroneous) connection that Christianity is in error. That may either mean that Christianity must be reformed or destroyed. But I doubt that the people who talk about "those dirty Christians" wish to reform Chrisitanity. Many of the people who write and read these books are not only atheists but atheists with a profound hatred of Christianity (not just "religion") or completely irrational and overly emotional dweebs like Sam Harris (redundancy alert). They do not just want to remove a few bad apples, they want to chop off the whole tree.

Actually, "reforming" Christianity can go some ways toward destroying it as well. Well-meaning Christians who do not want to look bad to the people who are criticizing them may go along with what they are saying and "reform" Christianity until it is nothing but a hollow shell like the Anglican Church. (If this happened eighteen centuries ago, Europe may still be pagan).

There is one more thing. Generalized attacks against Christianity by people who are more popular and influential are getting more vicious than ever and more public as well. What madness does Dawkins have to go against the ancient practice of parenting so that children won't become Christians? This is just but one example.

What upsets me is that there is little outrage. There are some like me and Mr. Auster who write against this but I am sure that the mainstream media would ignore it, set up such complaints as strawmen, show brief, out-of-context bits and pieces of dissent or air only opportunistic sound bytes from someone hated by the Left like Pat Robertson. I am sure there would be more people in more places who would speak against this war against Christianity but would not like to speak out too loud for reasons I have already mentioned. That there is little outrage is shows me that the secular war against Christianity is going against us.

The war is real. The abolition of the "Merry Christmas" and other acts are only small bits of the larger reality. I wonder what the future will look like.

That time of year again (argggh....)

2006-12-03T08:27:00.000-08:00

No, not Christmas--finals.

After all my years of schooling, I must say that I genuinely hate studying. You cannot get me to focus for more than two hours on any subject before getting irritable, or bored, or wanting to play a video game. It does not matter whether the class is upper or lower division.

Yet I somehow manage to get A's. I wonder.

Atheism; and why I'm not one

2006-11-09T20:55:00.000-08:00

I flirted with the idea of becoming an atheist in my freshman year of college. That idea, however, evaporated within months.

I try to put myself in an atheist's shoes, wondering, "What is the meaning of life?" I arrived at two conclusions:

(1) Life is meaningless.
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...
...
...
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...

Okay, is that it? "Yeah, I guess it is," says the atheist. So what? "I don't know," he replies.

Honestly, I don't think that a real conversation with an atheist can go like that. What I am getting at, though, is that I wager everyone has some idea that there is a great big point in why someone should live; otherwise, what is the point of living? This theoretical meaninglessness of life poses two possible problems. First, if you admit the its meaninglessness of life and continued living as if your life mattered, that would make you either a liar or an idiot (or both?) This is the less problematic situation. The more problematic situation comes if you admit the meaninglessness of life and take the logical approach that everything you do is meaningless.

Your life is the biggest thing that you own. (Whether someone else can own you I leave up to the Enlightenment thinkers). This life of yours consists of every thought, word, action, deed and possession--everything. These are parts of your life. If the whole is meaningless, the parts shall also be meaningless. Here we approach a grim equality between doing a good deed to a stranger and hurting, maiming or otherwise inconveniencing the said stranger. Paradoxically, both acts are meaningful because both acts are meaningless.

Well meaning, thoughtful atheists will be quick to point out the problems of such a worldview. So their solution is not to say that life is meaningless, but--

(2) We must create meaning in life.
(a rephrasing: Purpose must come from within, etc.)

This is a cuddlier, gentler, eco-friendly atheism characteristic of 20-21st century Europe (or what we've seen of the later part; the earlier part, er, is not so pretty). Life-purposes usually made up by "fuzzy atheists," as I call them, usually consist of "Be nice to everyone else," "Share," "Don't pollute," "Respect," etc. (Seriously, there are sometimes I wish atheists were as bloodthirsty as their revolutionary heroes).

There are some problems with this. Many nice and fuzzy "life purposes" are merely rehashings of ancient beliefs with every reference to God(dess), Brahman, [diety], etc. removed. As Vox Day often says, atheist meaning/morality is simply rehashing previous, ancient sensibilities.

Are atheists just lazy? Or is there a systematic difficulty? The problem of humans "creating their own meaning and purpose" is twofold. First is that if humans needed to create meaning, that would imply that meaning did not exist to begin with. (One is reminded of a popular Voltaire quote, "If God did not exist, man would have to create Him). If life were meaningless, well, go back to earlier in this post and see my take on that.

Second is what I call a "democratic" problem. It is good enough if one person had one unsubstantiated purpose that he or she lived by. However, man is not an island. We must live and work along other men; this both a historical and prehistorical fact of life. For the harmonious interaction of two men, there must be uniformity (or at least overlap) in their purposes. If there is no room for accomodation between two life-meanings, war (or the potential for war) shall exist. ("War" in this case is a generalized term for conflict, including but not limited to the infliction of physical damage).
War can be seen either as a correction of a conflicting life meaning or its elimination. Because humans can act both individually and corporately, the chances are that in a give area, most people will "elect" a life-meaning, but there will be some that do conflict with that life meaning. To achieve some sort of peace, all must have meanings that do not conflict with one another. For this unity, either those who accept contrary meanings must be forced one way or another to abandon them, or they must die--for a person with no life can have no meaning to life, and therefore, no potentially destructive meaning.
Here is the heart of the problem: the consequence is that the meaning of life is fluid. Meaning can evolve with time. Either it gradually shifts toward one end of the spectrum or another, or a contrary, marginalized meaning can gradually gain power and overthrow the previous meaning. This means that any given meaning that is the zeitgeist today can be dead wrong and heretical tomorrow.
Thus meaning is amorphous and subject to various manipulations. Thus the purpose of life is built upon a deck of cards rebuilt time and again. Thus conflict emerges time and again, because what we decide is right and meanigful today is contested by others or is potentially something that is horridly erroneous. When one approaches the chimaeric monstrosity that is "consensus-based truth" (as Dr. Hampton likes to call it) one can hardly see the point (or meaning, to stay consistent) and once again we return to problem (1).

I realize that any keen atheist can take my last few paragraphs and replace "meaning" with "religion." I agree. However, "meaning" is a broader concept than "religion," so various atheistic viewpoints fit nicely under that umbrella. Atheists should keep that in mind whenever they try to bring up the canard that all wars are religiously motivated.

To put a Christian perspective to this crock of shit I just wrote, here goes: My decision to believe upon the word of God is my way of building a house upon rock. My faith is not simply a way to escape the exacting harsh calculation of reason, but a firm foundation for when reason breaks down, as it does when one examines the meaning of life.

SHADOW WARRIOR CHRONICLES IS DEAD!!!

2006-10-31T23:47:00.000-08:00

ADV has opted to use the original title in all its confusing-for-some-to-pronounce glory. It's nice that someone up there actually realizes how stupid that idiotic working title was.

"Three Monkeys" be damned--I ain't voting Elephant

2006-10-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

Now I suppose that voting Democrat is the "end all destroy all" of American conservatism, but--

Let me rephrase. I'm pretty sure it's rational to vote for one party to continually bash you in the stomach when the only other option is to vote for another party who will set your genitals on fire over a flaming garbage can....

...but it is NOT rational to do so if the flaming garbage can boys are NOT the only other option. Say, there's another party who instead wants to give you a massage?

Unfortunately, too many people believe that the Demoncraps and Republican'ts are the only two parties in this country. They have allowed this lie to go uncontested for so long that this is pretty much the reality.

Neither side is about ideological purity or what is best for the country. They are definitely about winning votes and paying lip service to voters. When something abandons its original purpose for the sake of growing in size and power, it becomes ugly. There is analogy for this in biology. Such a thing is a cancer.

Extremely hasty summarization of Utawarerumono 16-25

2006-09-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

Yeah, uh, so like the war with Shikeripetim ended, and Hakuoro rebuilt everything, and Eruruu mentioned something about seeds. Yeah. And Kamyu is thirsty a lot and likes to play with alien looking lights. So then Genjimaru who's an Evinkuruga like, interrupts Hakuoro from the lightshow and introduces him to Kuuya, a bunny girl empress (uh, you shouldn't know that yet?) And Kuuya thinks Hakuoro is cool. But Kuuya worships a different god. And later, Hakuoro finds out that Oboro got drunk and got in a gay sex threesome and needs hangover medicine. Then the herapetta guy brought over this flying rat creature and Touka totally flips out. So Oboro wants to get flying rat's liver but flying rat runs away and Aruruu names him Gachatara. And Yuzuha gets mad cuz Oboro wants to give her Gachatara's liver. Then Kuuya visits Hakuoro again and takes off her mask and then leaves, presumably in a giant robot.

So Karura's little brother kills a bunch of guys in Na Tunk and Karura wants to help him but Hakuoro says no, but she tries to have sex with him but Eruruu catches them and then becomes tight lipped. Then Karura kidnaps Hakuoro and all the girls go for a little trip. Then they totally own the Na Tunk soldiers, even Urutorii gets to fight a little. And then Derihourai (little brother) kills the emperor and makes himself the emperor of a new country named after Karura.

Then Genjimaru's granddaughter gives Hakuoro a message, only to become pimped out to him by Kuuya. Then Kamyu goes vampire on Aruruu but Aruruu says it's OK. Then Kuuya goes to war using these Evangelions and with the help of Hien and Hauenkua kill a lot of dudes everywhere. Then they go to the country where all the winged people are but Urutorii's dad nearly PWNs them until Dii (the winged dude who hung out with Yue) betrayed them. Then Kuuya sends Hauenkua to Hakuoro's place, and then Hauenkua fistPWNs Aruruu with his Evangelion. But Hakuoro turns into Godzilla and goes END OF EVANGELION on Hauenkua and his men and casts Life2 on Aruruu. All while remembering that he used to be a scientist (WTF?) with a bad hairdo.

Hakuoro remembers his real name was Iceman and he used to go steady with a doggirl named Mikoto. Then Genjimaru PWNS two Evangelions and has a little chat with Hakuoro so that they can invade Kuuya's country. Then Urutorii becomes president of the world and they invade Kuuya and fight zombies too. Then Dii teleports Hakuoro, Genjimaru and Eruruu to Kuuya's palace and Hakuoro managest to beat Kuuya using just a sword. Then Hauenkua and Hien bust in and then Hakuoro goes Godzilla mode again and beats the shit out of those two. Just when things were going crazy, Kamyu turns into Mutsumi and knocks down Godzilla Hakuoro. Genjimaru tries to turn Dii into a pincushion but he turns into giblets. Mutsumi blows up Kuuya's country and Kuuya becomes retarded.

So Hakuoro goes on a quest to bring Kamyu back, but runs into Dii and they both prepare for a cataclysmic Godzilla battle.

I doubt Utawarerumono races mimic their base animal

2006-08-19T02:10:00.000-07:00

Unless of course, the creator wanted to be REALLY creative in this series.

Case in point: Kuuya and friends are bunny people. Bunnies are cute right?

THEY ALSO EAT THEIR OWN SHIT.

I could only imagine Kuuya inviting Hakuoro to some state dinner and seeing Hakuoro's face turn purple upon viewing (and smelling) the appetizers.

I don't see random males sniffing females asses, the wing people laying eggs or Karura using a scratching post. So I don't think I have to worry in this regard.

Oboro vs. Derihourai

2006-08-13T02:08:00.000-07:00

I once commented that Derihourai (Karura' kid brother) is like a replacement Oboro in that both dual-wield, lead some ghetto-ass scrub units and have attitude problems. But let's see how they do in this game called life....

Oboro: Leads a band of ninjas (?)
Deri: Leads a liberation "army"
Winnner: Tie.

Oboro: Has a sick, blind younger sister.
Deri: Has a monstrously strong older sister.
Winner: Deri.

Oboro: Fights with two swords.
Deri: Fights with enlarged tonfas.
Winner: Oboro

Oboro: Has yet to do any significant damage to an enemy hero unit.
Deri: Killed an evil ruler.
Winner: Deri.

Oboro: After country's liberation, held more or less the same position.
Deri: After country's liberation, became its emperor.
Winner: Deri.

So there you have it folks, Derihourai kicks more ass than Oboro.

The Federal Government....

2006-08-13T02:06:00.000-07:00

....my ass!

It's not enough that you tax us till we bleed. You also take every inopportunity (is that even a word?) like the London near-bombings to expand your power.

You cunts.

Religion of Peace...

2006-08-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

...my ass.

I'm not only pissed about how this will affect my travel plans in the near future. Muslims need to realize that their shit can only take them so far in countries where they are minorities. "Moderate" Muslims need to realize that they can't enjoy the fruits of the Western world while apologizing for their bretheren.

Screw this PC-bullshit. I'm not like the pussies of this country. If any harm is done to my family or friends, violence will be meted out in kind.

Shadow Warrior Chronicles

2006-08-05T23:30:00.000-07:00

==Utawarerumono.

I'm dead serious. Unless the rumors that the names were switched with another series in Anime News Network, that seems to be the title for Utawarerumono, licensed by ADV.

I remember an online friend who I interviewed IRL said the three dumbest things she's ever heard were ADV.

Now is the beginning of our greatest fears and anxieties. Yes, there will be silly dubs. Yes, there will be silly n00bs ruining the spirit of the series. Yes, there will be transliterations that we will not be familiar with (Crow? Ultrie? Tusukur? Call your offices, please).

That is all a given. What bothers me the most is--

CONVENTIONS.

That's right, CONVENTIONS.

Utawarerumono is too good of an anime NOT to build up a following in the States. That eventually means we will have Utawarerumono fans and Utawarerumono cosplayers like--

FAT ERURUU.
FAT HAKUORO.
FAT ARURUU.
FAT BENAWI.
FAT (SCANTILY CLAD) KARURA.

And the list goes on.

Yes, I admit I was FAT SHIROU in AX 2006 but I made fun of myself at least, and at least I tried to go for the Archer's Arm look. Actually, all of that doesn't make anything better. I think I'll drink a bottle of Tylenol before bed.

Nerd Score

2006-08-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

Utawarerumono--the remainder of the Shikeripetim Arc (12-15)

2006-08-01T23:35:00.000-07:00

Bullet-Summary time.

Episode 12.

It begins with a "flashback" of Hakuoro killing a bunch of people with a sword. Orikakan (the leader of Kuccha Keccha) claims that Hakuoro killed his wife and children and many others.
The battle ends when Touka is ~~scared shitless~~ intimidated by Karura's monstrous strength.
Hakuoro has nightmares about what Orikakan has to say.
Later, Oboro and his men try to track Kuccha Keccha but they run into Touka. Oboro fights Touka and gets his ass kicked.
During a strategy discussion, Benawi mentions that Kuccha Keccha have two major advantages. (1) Extremely mobile cavalry from the steppes (Mongols?) and (2) the fact that Touka is an Evinkuruga. (The Evinkuruga are apparently the Michael Jordans of the swordfighting world). With the help of Aruruu, the team finds a bridge of strategic importance.
Hakuoro and Co. go to the bridge later on and encounter Touka and some Kuccha Keccha infantry. After a brief struggle, Karura destroys the bridge with Touka still standing on it.
Hakuoro is still worried about his past which he does not remember, but Eruruu comforts him.

Episode 13

Touka survived the fall from the bridge. She apologizes to Orikakan for not defeating Hakuoro.
Doubt cirulates among the villagers about what kind of person Hakuoro is, since the Evinkuruga are dedicated to fighting evil.
Eruruu offers Hakuoro some company and Hakuoro has the gall to say that Eruruu is like his mother. What, man? She was your sister, now she is your mother? Are you trying to say that Eruruu is nothing but an unfuckable relative? (NOTE: I am told that this is the point in the game where Hakuoro and Eruruu have SECHS).
Also, Hakuoro is drinking heavily.
Hakuoro, Eruruu and Aruruu (and Mukuru) take a holiday together.
When Hakuoro returns, everyone makes ready to counterattack Kuccha Keccha. Hakuoro plans to use all cavalry to try to fight Kuccha Keccha on equal terms.
Hakuoro's hero units all gang up on Touka whereas Hakuoro lures Orikakan away from the battlefield. Touka has no trouble holding off against Oboro, Kurou, Benawi and Karura. Meanwhile, Hakuoro loses his Woptar but manages to takedown Orikakan.
Hakuoro asks once again who the hell Rak Shine is and Orikakan explains once again. Hakuoro suddenly has a vision of his body turning smoky and black but Orikakan sees that Hakuoro is also changing. When Hakuoro asks Orikakan what he saw, Orikakan got shot in the neck.
The shooter is Yue (remember him?) He basically says that he used Orikakan to bring out the beast inside Hakuoro. He rides away with a guy with white hair and wings.
Hakuoro returns victorious. However, the show ends with Yue advancing with an army spread as wide as the eye can see.

Episode 14

There really isn't much to say about this episode. Most of it consists of Shikeripetim soldiers attacking, then Hakuoro's hero units counterattacking which leads to Shikeripetim soldiers retreating/getting slaughtered by the thousands. Also, the character designs (of the first half of the episode) look hideous (though the animation is more fluid).
Touka tries to kill herself but Hakuoro prevents her from doing so and orders her to bury Orikakan in his homeland.
Hakuoro's strategy consists mainly of defense (remember Shikeripetim's army is 10x that of Tusukuru's).
Yue enjoys watching POW's duke it out to death in gladiatorial-style combat. He apparently has some special plans for his POW's thanks to the white-haired angel dude? His plan has something to do with Hakuoro.
Touka joins Hakuoro after returning from Orikakan's burial. And she kicks major ass.
Hakuoro reveals his plan. He will take a few soldiers + Touka + Karura + (Eruruu?) on a mission to eliminate Yue while the bulk of the army defends against the Shikeripetim's main fighting force.

Ep. 15

Benawi and Co. assemble on the high ground overlooking a river. When the fog clears, Kurou estimates ten thousand enemy whereas Oboro estimates five times as much. Benawi believes they have met the bulk of the enemy.
Meanwhile, Hakuoro's Special Forces attack easily breach the defenses of Yue's castle thanks to Karura, who also make short work of those three messengers from episode 9.
Hakuoro, Touka and Eruruu (and some other swordsmen and archer) run down Yue's hall and are trapped in a large antechamber. Some doors open and VAMPIRES (I'm serious) come out. Yue comes down and says that they are the best warriors from countries he has defeated and that he brought out the "beast" in them. But all they are there for is to bring out the greatest beast of all. Hakuoro and Co.'s attacks don't seem to be effective until Karura smashes in and makes mincemeat out of them. Hakuoro and Eruruu run after Yue while the rest take care of the vampires.
Yue says that he wants to make a beast out of Hakuoro and everything he has done up to this point was to grow that beast. To provoke him, he sets his own capital city on fire. They fight.
Yue disarms Hakuoro (Hakuoro, why use the damn fan all the time?) As he charges towards Hakuoro's face, Hakuoro suddenly has a flashback of the monster from episode 1. His arm suddenly grows large and black and knocks Yue down.
Hakuoro chases Yue further. Thanks to Touka, Hakuoro now has a sword and they are fighting on equal terms. Upon a stalemate where both stab each other in the shoulder, Hakuoro turns into a monster and turns Yue into giblets :) Afterwards, Hakuoro has no idea what happened. The white haired angel dude was watching the whole thing.
Eruruu and the others are waiting outside in the rain for Hakuoro. Back at the homefront, Benawi says that Hakuoro must have won.

The Oboro Aptitude Test

2006-07-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

This is for all people who wish to fill in for Oboro ~~once he gets his sorry ass kicked~~ in case he needs to take some time off.

1. Your blind sister Yuzuha is having another one of her many heart failures. What should you do?

Fill in her prescription at the local drug store
Steal some medicine from the nearest fat, disgusting lord
Start preparing for her funeral
Solicit help from Tusukuru in exchange for sexual favors.

2. Your archers (Dorii and Gura) are sampling fine women's jewelry. Describe the best course of action.

Buy the jewelry for them.
Mention something about their exquisite tastes
Yank the necklace off Gura's neck.
"What sex are Dorii and Gura again?"

3. To your dismay, you find Yuzuha outside having fun with friends. You should:

scream "YUUUUUZUUUHAAAAA!" at the top of your lungs
scream "YUUUUUZUUUHAAAAA!" while chasing her
start a game of Marco Polo or Blind Tag with Yuzuha being "it"
lament the fact that Yuzuha has more friends than you

4. Kurou is making fun of you again. You should:

Tell him that he is Benawi's whore
Say "Hmph!" and turn your face away in disgust
Yell "Anija!" until Hakuoro tells you to shut up
Shove Kurou in the face

5. You do not agree with Hakuoro's plans, even though most of his advisers and Benawi agree with their stragtegic worth. What to do, what to do?

Yell "Anija!" until Hakuoro listens to you
Yell "Anija!" until Hakuoro tells you to shut up
Yell "Anija" while Hakuoro is in the middle of discussing his plans
Find solace in Dorii and Gura.

6. You are faced up against a hero of legendary proportions and his/her contingent of soldiers. What now?

Massacre the contingent of soldiers with your dual-wielding prowess
Try to hurt the hero, even if he/she is of monstrous strength and you are just ~~a gay ninja~~
Let Kurou and Benawi deal with it.
Let Dorii and Gura handle it.

7. Someone other than Kurou insults or harms you. What should you do?

Attack his fortress until you are dead or captured.
Threaten to kill the person.
Complain about it to Hakuoro
Make fun of his blind, lame sister until you realize that you were stupid enough to insult yourself.

Dymmmmmpernicki

2006-06-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

PAH-TOO! WAZAAA!

Utawarerumono 10 and 11

2006-06-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

I didn't find episode 10 terribly interesting so I'll just give a bulleted summary.

A slave ship gets shipwrecked during a storm. A woman in chains breaks free.
When the crew comes to shore so does the previously chained woman. She massacres them all barehanded.
Hakuoro's men find her and keep her in a cell. Oboro doesn't really like her, Benawi says she was from a ship from Na Tunk which deals in human (if you can really call them that) trafficking.
Then she barges in and tells them that her name is Karura and asks if Hakuoro will send her back to Na Tunk. Instead, Hakuoro has Eruruu do a check up on her.
So Eruruu plays "doctor" with Karura. Karura asks some probing questions which make Eruruu blush and protest vigorously (hint: about Hakuoro, and Eruruu's possible lesbianism).
Also, full back nudity (plus a tail!) is involved.
Eruruu asks Hakuoro to let Karura free. Hakuoro agrees. But Karura would rather live in the cell.
Aruruu wonders what the shackle on Karura's neck is and Karura says it's a necklace, y'know, one of the latest fads. Karura makes a floral necklace for Aruruu. Instant friendship (how come most of Aruruu's new relationships involve someone giving her something?)
Karura's ammenities include barrels upon barrels of osake. Appears to have an iron liver.
Urutorii now is working full-time (?) for Tusukuru (so is Kamyu, but I think it's just so she can spend time with Aruruu and Yuzuha). Apparently, she knows Karura and they hit the bottle together.
Hakuoro wants to put Karura in the army. Oboro disagrees. Kurou agrees, but then again I think he's trying to get lucky.
To test her, Karura is to fight Benawi. They clash. Benawi seems to be much weaker than her, but his finesse helps him stand a chance. Karura is so strong that her missed attacks destroy whatever weapon she is wielding.
Shikinaro (the merchant with the dried sea creature penis energy drink) brings in a gigantic sword (more like a gigantic hunk of metal) that Karura requested. So heavy that Kurou can only lift it a few inches whereas Karura wields it like a toy. Sanosuke Sagara, anyone?

Ep. 11

The scene is back with Teoro and everyone in Tusukuru's (the grandmother) old village. Teoro and friends run out of fertilizer and he wonders if he can ask Hakuoro to make some more for him. His wife tells him that is a stupid idea since as the new Emperor, Hakuoro has much more important things to do.
Urutorii had arranged for neighboring countries to unite with Tusukuru (the country) to defend from hostilities against Shikeripetim. Kamyu returns with souvenirs for Aruruu and Yuzuha.
Urutorii begins the unification ceremony, but before the delegates sign the contract, Teoro barges in and warns Hakuoro of an enemy force that attacked his village. The enemy is at the castle walls. Hakuoro and Co. meet the enemy but Teoro stays behind to rest. When everyone leaves, Teoro slouches on a pillar and we can see blood flowing out. He has a vision of his wife and the other villagers and tells her than he kept his promises. He wishes luck for Hakuoro.
Hakuoro's men, thanks to an ingenious entrapment tactic, annihilate the enemy with ease. The last enemy soldier to fall tells him that their commrades will put an end to them and wishes pain and suffering upon Hakuoro. Benawi tells Hakuoro that the soldiers are not from Shikeripetim.
Sometime later, Hakuoro and friends are gathered around Teoro's body. Meanwhile, Aruruu is desperately trying to wake Teoro up. Kurou comes with a report on Teoro's village. He stalls a while, but finally says that the village was razed. Aruruu is still trying to wake Teoro up but Hakuoro tells her that he is now where Tusukuru (the grandma, again) is, right now. Aruruu has an emotional outburst and Eruruu chloroforms (yes, I'm serious) her so she can get over it. Then Hakuoro chloroforms Eruruu.
Oboro is pissed off and wishes to attack Kuccha Keccha (the enemy) but Benawi says they shouldn't do so until they find out the truth. Oboro continues to protest until Hakuoro tells him to be quiet.
That night, Karura shares some booze with Hakuoro. Hakuoro is mystified as to why the attackers were so vehement as to attack with no hope of success and Karura says that they "were already dead." She wonders what Hakuoro must have done to piss them off so hard but he says he doesn't know since he has no memory before Eruruu rescued him.
Urutorii tells them that the sudden attack on Hakuoro's castle discouraged the neighbor countries from signing the unification treaty. Then, a wounded messenger comes to Hakuoro and tells him that Kuccha Keccha attacked his company/unit/whatever. Hakuoro decides they must attack Kuccha Kecca.
While they march, they suddenly find themselves surrounded on all sides by Kuccha Keccha. A female warrior with winglike ears appears and wastes some of Hakuoro's scrub units with her mad iaijustsu skills. Her name is Touka. Before she can attack Hakuoro, Karura blocks her. The leader of the enemy army calls Hakuoro "Rak Shine" and accuses him of being a traitor. He also says that "Rak Shine" is his younger brother-in-law.

Me = screwed

2006-06-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

This confirms it--the more free time you have, the more free time you waste. As much as that job sucked, quitting McDonald's was the worst mistake of the '05-'06 schoolyear.

BIPN 100 tomorrow, first thing in fact.

Utawarerumono ep. 8 and 9

2006-06-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

Ep. 8
The episode begins with Teoro and his wife (and the villagers where Hakuoro originally lived) saying goodbye to Hakuoro and company.
Hakuoro is now living the American Dream--in Tusukuru. He is the Emperor, Eruru is his press secretary (?? well, what do you call someone who reads reports to him and all his ministers?), Benawi is his nanny who gets upset with him when he doesn't do his mountains of paperwork and Oboro and Kurou more or less occupy the same positions they previously did (gay ninja with a sister complex and big ugly strongman who makes his boss look good). OK, I made the last two up, slightly. And we also learn from Aruru that Eruru has a frightening habit of laughing in her sleep.
The winged people from the end of the last episode come on a diplomatic mission to Tusukuru. Apparently they serve (or are?) greater gods and their job is to prevent disasters. Urutori (the blonde one with big gazongas) says that their intention is to become friendly-ish with Hakuoro. She also wonders if Eruru is the queen, to which Hakuoro responds that he is not married and Eruru is more like a kid sister (DENIED!) Eruru shows Urutori and Munto (the old bastard accompanying them) and Urutori says that things are generally happier now that Hakuoro is in charge.
That night, Hakuoro gets bored doing paperwork and goes to the lake. He sees a girl with black wings flying around and generally having fun and he also sees Aruru's 2nd animal companion (judging from the OP, Aruru has a smaller mammal as a pet later on). When Hakuoro goes to his bed chambers, the same winged girl is sleeping on his bed. Alarmed, she tries to use an invisibility spell (that fails). So she runs away but runs back because of Mukuru. So she hides in a box which Mukuru later bats around. Urutori goes to Hakuoro's room and wonders if a certain silver-haired chick popped in earlier. She notices black feathers from the box and scolds the girl (who BTW is Kamyu). Hakuoro lets the whole incident slide and lets Kamyu stay.
The next day, while Kurou and Oboro argue over how Hakuoro should spend the military budget, Kamyu tries to get friendly with Aruru and fails repeatedly. Hakuoro tells Kamyu a "super effective" way to win Aruru's friendship. Kamyu gets a bowl of honey comb and gives it to Aruru, who then tells her to have some. They become friends instantly and so does Yuzuha, who just happened to be in the same room.
The Spoiled Little Sisters trio (as I call them) spend the day fooling around (with Mukuru too!) to the dismay of Munto and especially Oboro. Cue a montage of general fun activities (WARNING: Montage contains PARSHELL NUDATEE!)
Later, we find out that indeed Urutori knew who Tusukuru was, since she was a Med School dropout, apparently. So I guess Tusukuru really was the best doctor in the world.
Urutori, Kamyu and their entourage leave at the end of the episode. Urutori hopes to have a long lasting alliance with the new nation and Kamyu promises Aruru and Yuzuha that she will come back to play.

Ep. 9
A large, foreign contingent of soldiers march into Hakuoro's castle. Three messengers from Shikeripetim (sp???) tell Hakuoro that their emperor, Yue, demands the immediate surrender of Tusukuru. Oboro is pissed but Hakuoro accomodates them and even holds a party for them.
Benawi tells Hakuoro that Shikeripetim is three times larger than Tusukuru and that their army is TEN TIMES larger.
Convinced that Hakuoro is a fool, the messengers tell Yue that they should have no problem conquering him. Yue calls them imbeciles and tells them that even though made a fool of, Hakuoro did not reveal the weaknesses of their nation. He is interested in what kind of dude Hakuoro is.
Later, Shikeripetim soldiers attack Tusukuru's border outposts. Benawi reports this to Hakuoro. He also warns that calling back the border guards may open up an opportunity for other nations to attack Tusukuru. So Hakuoro orders some of his soldiers to completely abandon a certain strategic castle while he orders Benawi and Kurou to defend another one for three days. He has a special assignment for Oboro.
Kurou doesn't know why Hakuoro ordered the evacuation of one castle, seeing as it is practically an invitation to the enemy to use it as they please. Benawi (correctly) guesses that Hakuoro wishes them to do so. As they are speaking, the enemy uses the empty castle as a storehouse.
Hakuoro sends Shikinaro (the trader/spy from episode 6) to get a certain materials. Eruru overheard what Hakuoro ordered and tells him that Tusukuru once said that there is a "taboo" method of preparing those materials. She asks him why he ordered those things but Hakuoro tells her she doesn't need to know.
Benawi and Kurou establish a line of defense at another castle and do their best to repel the enemy attack. Kurou fights the three messengers (who apparently are high-ranking officers, lol)for a while, but Benawi helps him. Meanwhile, in the abandoned-castle-turned-storehouse, Oboro, Dorii and Gura take out a few guards stealthily and Oboro plants the ingredients Hakuoro ordered.
Eventually, Eruru, Aruru and Mukuru catch up with Hakuoro. Eruru asks one more time why Hakuoro would break a taboo. He explains that all humans need food, air and water to live, and his plan was to deny these things to the invading enemy. After he says that, the castle explodes. He and a contingent of cavalry massacre the retreating enemy and steal their supplies. The attackers where Benawi and Kurou are stationed are ordered to retreat. It appears that Hakuoro won, but suddenly, he is attacked by a crazy dude with a naginata-like weapon. He is Yue. The collapsing debris interrupts their little conflict and Yue vows to meet Hakuoro again.

What ruined Fate/Stay Night for me

2006-06-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

....was that I thoroughly spoiled myself. When the anime makers said they would be making a totally new plot for the anime, I didn't expect it to be a minor digression that would make nods toward the other plot lines and go back to the same train wreck that they were riding.

Had I not spoiled myself, I would not be so upset at all the crap they are leaving out. Then again, I may have quit the series altogether by episode 15 because of the BIG F*CKING DRAGON storyline.

I won't make the same mistake watching Utawarerumono. Actually, I think I did--a spoiler mentioned that Hakuoro is supposed to be the final boss. But since I already came to a similar conclusion myself (right from the FIRST EPISODE), I don't think it's really a spoiler.

Utawarerumono 6 and 7

2006-05-30T21:47:00.000-07:00

Ep. 6
The episode starts of with Nuwangi badmouthing Benawi to Kurou's face, who is infuriated. Benawi tells Kurou to let Nuwangi go. Then Nuwangi threatens to tell on them to the Emperor.
More and more settlements join Hakuoro's rebellion thanks to the destroyed village incident. Later in the day, a weird guy is caught by Eruru trying to scale the walls. Everyone is suspicious, but he claims he is just a merchant, selling all sorts of things from toys, jewelry, medicine, and what can only be described as a phallic-looking energy supplement "that gives your partner enough stamina to last all night long." Hakuoro leads the man out of the gate, but he pulls a knife out on him. The merchant (btw his name is Shikinaro) was just putting on an act and leaves.
Benawi and Kurou are assigned to defend an important gate. They find someone trying to get to the other side, but Benawi lets the messenger go. In the shadows lurks Shikinaro, who was in fact a spy. Benawi pays him off.
The messenger runs to Hakuoro's fortress and tells him that the settlements on the other side also wish to revolt. Earlier Hakuoro and company planned on capturing the gate to reestablish communication between settlements.
Night falls and Hakuoro, Teoro, Oboro and all their assembled forces lay siege to the gate. Benawi and Kurou fight Hakuoro and Oboro again. Once again, Benawi beats Hakuoro, but before he could finish them off, villagers from the other side of the gate smash it open and outflank Benawi's forces. This was all thanks to Dorii and Gura, who scouted through the forest to get to the other side.
Inkara is enraged that Benawi failed to protect the gate. He also tells him that Nuwangi razed a village not involved in the rebellion. For Benawi, this is the last straw. He openly criticizes Inkara's actions. But Nuwangi steps in and has Benawi thrown in jail.

Ep. 7
Hakuoro and the peasants gain momentum and defeat one Imperial army after another. Even more and more villagers are emboldened to rebel and join Hakuoro.
Nuwangi is destroying yet another village, but before they can kill the remaining villagers, he is caught off guard by a surprise attack from Hakuoro. His men flee and Hakuoro's forces capture him.
All of Hakuoro's followers wish to execute Nuwangi--even Nuwangi dares them to execute him. However, Hakuoro lets Eruru make the decision. She wishes to let him go. She very coldly tells him "farewell" and Nuwangi leaves without a word.
After a series of stunning victories, Hakuoro's forces are now poised to attack Inkara's castle. Inkara himself is oblivious to Nuwangi's defeat and doesn't seem to mind that he is surrounded on all sides.
Meanwhile, Kurou frees Benawi from jail and he prepares for what may be his last battle. He still is the country's samurai leader. Hakuoro and Oboro rush to Inkara's throne room only to be stopped by Benawi and Kurou. Hakuoro duels with Benawi while Oboro and Kurou prevent the other side's forces from advancing further. Though Kurou manages to hold off the villagers with just his fists, eventually they come in overwhelming numbers prompting Benawi to run for Inkara's chambers. Kurou now fights Hakuoro, but Oboro fights Kurou so Hakuoro can follow.
Benawi delivers news of the imminent defeat to Inkara, who just now realizes what deep shit he is in. There is nowhere to flee and he is most likely going to be crucified by the rebels. Benawi suggests committing suicide, but Inkara is too gutless to do so. However, Benawi happily "assists" him. Hakuoro comes right as Inkara dies, and sees Benawi try to cut himself (like a good captain, I suppose a Samurai leader must go down with his country). Hakuoro stops him and tells him he must see the country through to the very end.
The battle ends when Hakuoro and Benawi walk out of the castle together and announce Inkara's death.
Some time after the victory, a far off country of winged people hear of the new country named "Tusukuru" which surprises what looks like the king or lord there. A princess (Urutori) volunteers to go on a diplomatic mission to the new country. In the background, a girl with black wings chuckles to herself.

Utawarerumono ep. 1-5

2006-05-30T00:14:00.000-07:00

This is not a bona fide animeblog like so many others, yet I would like to take a stab at summarizing the first seven episodes for myself.

Ep. 1
We see someone's vision of a fierce beast. Soon, a man wakes up and is greeted by a girl (Eruru). She informs him that he was rescued from the forest. The man is injured, has no memory of his past and has a weird-looking mask that he cannot remove.
The next morning, he is introduced to the old woman that found him (Tusukuru, a famous medicine woman) who is Eruru's grandmother. He also sees Aruru, Eruru's sister who ducks out of the way whenever he looks at her.
The man familiarizes himself with the rest of the town. Eventually, some dude called Nuwangi enters town with soldiers to collect taxes. He acts like an imperial ass even though he's several degrees separated from any royalty. He tries to make Eruru come with him (they used to be friends) but Eruru refuses him. Nuwangi is enraged that the masked dude is living with Eruru. Eventually the masked man is sick and tired of Nuwangi's shit and humiliates him.
Nuwangi is so infuriated that he desecrates a local shrine. This upsets a mighty tiger goddess (?), Mutikapa.

Ep. 2
Mutikapa vents her anger on a nearby village by devouring everyone there. News of the ruined shrine reach Tusukuru's village and all the villagers are scared shitless. They attempt to rebuild the shrine in order to appease Mutikapa. The masked dude finds some silver and black fur.
Their plan fails, as Mutikapa comes to the village and destroys a house and the family inside. The masked man runs outside to check things out, but Eruru is afraid for him. He finds Mutikapa and attacks her, but his weapon breaks on her like a twig and Mutikapa bats him around. Just as it looks like things bad for the dude, the rain begins to fall and Mutikapa leaves.
The dude quickly figures out that Mutikapa's weakness is water, and demonstrates that her fur becomes weaker when wet. He hatches a plan to stop Mutikapa and volunteers himself as bait. Eruru is worried, but he tells her that they are family and family protect each other.
The dude and Teoro (from the previous episode, apparently some woodsman who likes to laugh hard) come to Mutikapa's lair and draw her out. Teoro's axe is useless against Mutikapa and they give chase. Mutikapa attacks the dude again but he defends himself with a metal fan Tusukuru gave him. Eventually they reach the trap and Mutikapa is soaked. The villagers all attack her at once and the dude gives the killing blow.
They return triumphant, but Aruru is missing! Eruru finds her pretending to be pregnant (I'm serious) and discover that Aruru smuggled Mutikapa's baby. The villagers are worried, but the dude says that since the baby didn't do anything wrong, Aruru gets to keep it.
The dude is now a hero in town. They light a bonfire for Mutikapa's passing. Aruru now considers him as a father-figure. Tusukuru declares the dude's name as Hakuoro, the same name as Eruru's and Aruru's father.

Ep. 3
Eruru explains that she and Aruru were named after sister flowers. The elder was given to the forest and the younger waited in the forest for the elder's return.
Later that night, Eruru tells Hakuoro that her grandmother is missing. He goes out of town to investigate. Suddenly he is ambushed by a ninja. They fight, but are interrupted by Tusukuru, who scolds the ninja. He says his name is Oboro.
Apparently, Tusukuru has secretly been going to Oboro's (stronghold?) to check up on his blind sister (Yuzuha) who has heart problems. Oboro is quite the doting elder brother. When Hakuoro is introduced to Yuzuha, she immediately likes him.
Some days later, Oboro's androgynous (heeheehee) archers alert Tusukuru that Yuzuha is having a heart attack (Has she been eating deep fried food? lol). Tusukuru tells Oboro that the only treatment for Yuzuha's condition is an extremely rare medicine called muiko. Oboro vows to find a way to cure his sister.
He tries to steal some of that medicine from the lord's fortress, but is caught and flees. He runs into the samurai leader Benawi, who easily counterattacks him. Benawi lets him escape.
The next day, the lord (Sasante), Nuwangi and an entourage barge into Tusukuru's village.

Ep. 4
Sasante and Nuwangi accuse the village of aiding and abetting the man who attacked them. They act all big, mean and scary, but Aruru sends her pet tiger cub (Mukuru) to attack Sasante. The big fat coward is scared shitless, but this only angers son Nuwangi who sends a soldier to attack Aruru. Tusukuru takes the blow and falls. Nuwangi, ever the slimeball, blames Aruru.
Eruru desperately tries to make medicine for her grandmother, but Tusukuru knows she is going to die. She has some heart rendering last words for her granddaughters and entrusts everything to Hakuoro. Then she dies.
Hakuoro tells Oboro the bad news. Oboro considered Tusukuru as a mother and tells Hakuoro to look after Yuzuha. Oboro flies into a rage and attacks Sasante's fortress all by himself. He has some limited success, but the soldiers eventually overpower him.
Dorii and Gura tell Hakuoro that Oboro has been captured and ask him to (1). rescue him and (2) attack Sasante for the memory of Tusukuru. Now that Hakuoro is the leader of the village, he leads the villagers to Sasante's fortress to attack it.
During the siege, Benawi tells Oboro in jail that the villagers came to rescue him. He sets him free and leaves along with his swordsman, Kurou.
Oboro joins Hakuoro's forces and eventually breakthru and corner Sasante. Hakuoro finishes him off. Nuwangi escapes.
Hakuoro is exhausted by the attack and Eruru cradles him in his lap and sings to him.

Ep. 5
The emperor is enraged at the death of his brother. This emperor is Inkara, who looks like Sasante but sport a big afro. He orders Benawi to raze some villages to set an example for would-be rebels. Benawi would rather negotiate with the rebels but Inkara gets pissed off and says that "the people are for the country, and the country is ME!"
Hakuoro and the villagers are building some frontier defenses (I think) to prepare for another attack. The villagers are also training in combat. Eruru and Aruru are helping out too and Mukuru is growing rapidly. Mukuru has a big appetite and attempts to suckle from Eruru's teat. She "feels sorry" for Eruru, who is more than a little ticked off.
Oboro and his followers pledge their support to Hakuoro. Oboro now calls Hakuoro "brother" for saving his life multiple times.
Hakuoro notices that the inventory doesn't quite match the supplies availabe so he and Eruru investigate. Aruru blocks the entrance to the storehouse but Eruru forces her way in. Apparently Aruru has been helping Mukuru steal food (who, by the way, is now HUGE). Hakuoro lets this one go but Eruru is mad that he is being too lenient.
Hakuoro wishes to enlist more villages to their insurrection, so he and Oboro personally visit a neighboring village. Unfortunately, the village has been completely destroyed. Benawi and Kurou are there. Hakuoro fights Benawi and Oboro fights Kurou but Benawi and Kurou quickly gain the upper hand. Before all seems lost, some of Benawi's men a trashed by Mukuru, with Aruru riding on top, ordering her to attack Benawi. (Kurou calls having a giant white tiger "cheating," lol). They retreat.
Hakuoro wished to make the destroyed village strengthen his bargaining position, but is worried about the ethics of his actions. Oboro scolds him for being so fickle. Hakuoro finally scolds Aruru for not staying put. Obviously, he's getting better and better at this "dad" thing.
Inkara is displeased at Benawi's performance and informs him he has made Nuwangi the new samurai leader.

What kind of f_____ up person am I?

2006-05-23T17:38:00.000-07:00

Robot
You are 57% Rational, 0% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Class Clown.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Emo Kid, and the Haughty Intellectual.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Rationality
You scored higher than 99% on Extroversion
You scored higher than 99% on Brutality
You scored higher than 99% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

End of Quarter Angst

2006-05-22T17:16:00.000-07:00

All the semester-system people are off of school now.

Shit.

At least we start school LATE. At any rate, I am vainly attempting to study for my Immunology and/or BIPN 100 midterms.

I'm pretty sure I won't do HORRIBLE, but in case I do, there's always the final.

My aunt is on the verge of death, but...

2006-05-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

I'm going to New York as soon as my finals are over. Tita Yves is at the hospital and the prognosis doesn't look good.

I've prayed that she gets better. I thought for a while that the cancer went away, but somehow the docs missed some cancer that got into the bones. I fucking hate doctors.

I'm not too enthusiastic about the New York trip. All I plan to do is stay at the hospital for as long as visting hours permits, and I think two days, maybe three should do it. But I have to be there for FOUR FUCKING FULL DAYS (minus travel time). I generally don't like New York or any city outside of California during the summertime. I wish Dad would have consulted me before paying for the motherfucking tickets, but I've got no choice. I'm already desperate for cash and he's ruining my possibilities for getting a job by placing a clamp on my prospects.

Right now I am so pissed off that I can punch a hole in the wall.

2006-05-15T23:47:00.000-07:00

I am sick and tired of living at home and being jobless. Something's gotta give. If I have to live in my car for a few months, then so be it. I won't be baby-sat anymore.

End of School Angst

2006-05-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

Not quite there yet, really. This must be the third summer in a row to scramble for a job before I pass through the summer jobless and lazy. Let's check my history:

2004: I applied at stores and fast food joints everywhere with no success. The week before school I was hired for a graveyard shift at Vons. Didn't last a week.

2005: Applied to MANY lab positions at school, all with no success. McDonald's hired me (but those idiots will hire anyone). It wasn't walking distance, but I couldn't complain. I think they must hate me for working there less than three whole months.

2006: Applied to TSA and failed. Currently applying to UPS. Applying to EVEN MORE GODDAMN LAB POSITIONS via Port Triton. Why do I keep using Port Triton? That fucking website is as useful as a third nipple on a man.

I don't want to do Med/Dent/Doctor school because of the debt I will inevitably occur. If X more years of school means desperately trying to find low-paying jobs and shove them into an unrealistic schedule, I want no damn part in it.

Utawarerumono OP

2006-05-02T22:44:00.000-07:00

Utawarerumono

2006-04-29T00:43:00.000-07:00

I'm kinda violating my own policy by following two series at once. But I am glad I did so. Fate/Stay Night is getting kinda depressing for me. Not that anything sad in the story is/has happened, but since I was so thoroughly spoiled for the whole thing, it's hard to appreciate it. The story is taking a massive deviation from the original storylines, but that's not always a good thing.

Back to the topic on hand. I got into Utawarerumono because of a few selling points a member at CAA listed. Medieval backdrop? Warfare? Wings? KEMONOMIMI? I was curious, so I downloaded some eps. I am extremely glad I did. I got in for shallow reasons, but I'm staying for what I hope to be an awesome series.

The world of Utawarerumono has a bunch of "animal-ears" people (who still call themselves human, but possibly that's a translation error). The opening kicked major ass (moreso than F/SN's first OP and certainly more than its 2nd one) with lots of colorful characters and the promise of cool-looking warfare-related violence. The main character, the only guy who doesn't seem to have weird animal ears is very cool and likeable, even though he can't remember his past or even his own name and wears a mask that he can't remove. (BTW, in episode 2 the other characters give him the name Hakuoro). I find myself amazed at this dude rather than trying to defend him like I do for Shirou.

But the real hook to this show, IMO are the sisters Eruru and Aruru who are incredibly cute (especially the latter). Aruru in particular has that whole cutsey girl thing down pat and its extremely nice to see her play "mom" with her pet tiger.

This anime was based on a (H) strategy RPG. I hope that means lots of warfare, like suggested in the OP.

Amritas; Tomkyou; Midterms

2006-04-26T18:43:00.000-07:00

1. Dr. Marc Miyake seems to be at it again. He is a linguist who also goes into some sociopolitical issues, but usually deals in the former. He seems to go through phases--a few months or so poking fun at hyper political correctness then many months analysing dead (or near dead) East Asian languages in which I have no interest.

I wonder if he will revive kevin kutabare kusoyama? (note the initials. If there are any Japanese readers here, please don't be offended at this obviously satirical name.

2. I haven't updated the Tomkyou blog in forever, and frankly, crafting that entire blogfiction kills my creative juices. Don't expect any updates in the near future.

3. I have a BIPN 100 midterm today. I did the bulk of the studying today, hours before the thing. Why am I writing this? Just to be emo, perhaps. :P

I'm Touched

2006-04-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

It's like they made Fate/Stay Night ep.16 with me in mind.

Fate/Stay Night episode 15

2006-04-17T18:08:00.000-07:00

I did not go into episode 14 even though up to this point it is considered by many (including me) to be the episode so far since so many other people did a better job at describing it than I ever could. Let's just say that ep. 14 set up Archer as the Chuck Norris of the anime world.

Episode 15 showed viewers promise of a sex (lesbian) scene. In the original game, the Saber's mana was replenished via sexual intercourse. In fact, there was even a threesome including Rin.

Let me just say, for the record, that though I found the synopses of Fate highly intriguing, I thought the whole idea of sexual mana transfer to be highly ludicrous. The game had enough of a story (as some say) to do without any sex scenes whatsoever, but since it was classified as an ero game, it somehow needed sex. I found the entire premise very forced.

Back to the episode. Indeed, there was a bit of *ahem* close contact between Rin and Saber. But sex? The conflicting views in the fanworld were (1) Shirou didn't have sex with Saber but rather connected with her spiritually and (2) Shirou shagged Shaber (I needed the alliteration). Why the conflicting views? Has the question of sex become like the puzzle of Schroedingers cat, like having sex and not at the same time? What happened was a very silly little "ritual" involving a lot of touching, feeling, and German. The suspense builds up as Rin kisses Shirou and then Rin holds Saber after undoing one of her buttons, saying "We need to have as much physical contact as possible." The audience is at the edge of their seat. Sooner or later, Shirou is on top of Saber, and his spirit leaves his body because (I can only guess) a Shirou X Shirou X Saber threesome is more preferable.

After all this buildup, what is the climax (no pun intended?) Shirou finds himself falling in a giant hole, and then he finds himself in a volcanic environment with a F*CKING DRAGON. This is where the debate lies. The "no sex" side clearly notes that there is nothing to suggest sex since when Saber and Shirou wake up, they are both fully clothed and whaddayaknow, there's no copulation! The "sex" side says, "The imagery is all there!" (Personally, I am on the sex side). Let's see. Shirou falls down a large, gaping hole. This obviously represents what must be Saber's large, gaping vagina. He ends up in a cavern of lava which must be her... um... lava-filled uterus, I suppose. Then the F*CKING DRAGON flies over and bites his arm off and then comes back to eat him whole. I guess that means Saber reached orgasm. I don't think I need to get into Shirou's lines, "Wait, I'm already inside her" and "I need to get close to Saber's core (G-spot?)".

This whole scene was a big letdown for many fans, since there is all this build up to a sex scene only to have some esoteric moment where a M*THERF*CKING DRAGON eats Shirou. Even imagining the whole scenario as a sex scene kinda falls flat since this moment is neither titillating, nor sentimental, nor romantic. Just scary. And kinda funny.

If that whole thing were a sex scene, Shirou must be making an abstinence pledge right now. Or he must be turning gay.

Shirou SHOULD have been summoned as a Berserker

2006-04-01T20:43:00.000-08:00

Does this picture remind only me of the Hulk?

The final hour is approaching

2006-03-20T15:29:00.000-08:00

3 hours away from the BIMM 100 final. FTW! Actually, I am sick of studying at this point. I can't look at any materials for more than ninety minutes without blanking or getting distracted.

There's been a bit of a reversal. I actually feel more prepared for this final than I do for BICD 11o, whereas it was the other way around for the midterm. At any rate, I hope I do well.

Public Service Announcement

2006-03-19T16:12:00.000-08:00

Finals week sucks.

That is all.

Signs that there is love in a marriage

2006-03-18T22:59:00.000-08:00

Any wife who would put up with this must love her husband. Even if the love is, how should I say, "tough."

A coach I knew personally had a "love test." He would test his wife's love by farting into his hand and shoving it in her face.

Think about it.

Fate/Stay Night Turnaround Episode

2006-03-18T12:01:00.000-08:00

I still have a little time before I need to do my Hardcore Mad Insane Crazy study session followed by Self-Study under the guise of eating pie in Denny's, so I will stop containing my excitement having watched episode 11.

I call this the "Turnaround" episode because Shirou quite literally "turns around" from his actions as of late.

1. Rin notices that Shirou's true sorcery is not reinforcement, but apparently creating something out of nothing. I already knew this much about him after brutally spoiling myself, but the way they said it in the episode sounded confusing. "Equal substitution?" I guess magic isn't a zero-sum game.

2. After a rude awakening from Shinji (basically realizing that Shinji is a contemptible bastard who will hurt people who are already down), Shirou "throws off the gloves" and dons the cojones of an Alpha Male. Earlier he says he will avoid fighting when he can, but once the school is threatened by Shinji and Rider, he not only decides to fight but also threatens to kill Shinji and demands Shinji to give up at that instant. In other words, Shirou starts fighting in the Holy Grail War as if it were a War.
This is also a turnaround for Shinji, as he turns from a slithering slimy bastard into a whimpering whiny bastard when Shirou throttles the sumbitch.

3. Shirou also realizes the error of his ways and admits it to Saber. He agrees to let her do the fighting since it's her job. I admired Shirou earlier on because of his determination and nobility, but he had been fouling it up do to his imprudence (read: idiocy). Shirou is finally getting some sense to temper his idealism. But the pendulum at least doesn't swing too far the other direction and make Saber do all the hard work for him.

4. Even though reinforcement isn't his true power, Shirou improves even that almost instantaneously. I think this is thanks to Rin helping him turn on his "magical circuit." Up until now, Shirou's reinforce has had dubious effects on whatever he tried to reinforce (i.e., they still broke after enough stress). But he managed to turn a broomstick into some impressive metallic substance, which shows us that he's been doing it wrong all along (the metal poster and the table from the previous episodes didn't change color or composition or anything).

Also, the "magic circuit" animation that they showed whenever he tried that spell changed too. Whenever he did reinforce before, there was an animation of a circuit board and a green line of energy that would pulse through it. Now, several green lines pulsed through and "overflowed," as if some huge increase in his power were realized. I liked the effect of how his magic circuit overloaded when he heard Shinji brag about his own glorious assholishness.

All in all, it looks like even the Shirou haters will have to quiet down a little. I hope we learn about his future as YOUKNOWWHO, but I doubt that will happen. Oh well, I could at least gloat about it when the series ends.

Finals week.... 2x[BAD LANGUAGE]!

2006-03-14T10:20:00.000-08:00

I think it is a true saying that the less free time you have, the more likely you are to make every second count.

I have a crippling weakness when it comes to all academic endeavours. That weakness is that I am lazy. However, when I was burdened with both a job, a lab class and a bunch of other crappy classes, I managed to do O-kay. When I quit my job, my grades plummetted.

A coach I knew said that when he was in (high?) school, his grades dropped when he quit sports to focus on his classes. Now I am finding out the hard way.

This is why I am looking for a job next quarter. I want to be more productive (AND! make a little money on the side).

(Oh darn, what about the title? Well, of course, Finals are next week and I am feeling the pinch. I wish I weren't so lazy).

A primer to power levels in Type-Moon

2006-03-11T15:43:00.000-08:00

Quick Visual Guide.

But by that logic, Rider should be the most powerful Servant in the bunch....

Best Azumanga AMV EVER

2006-03-06T00:10:00.000-08:00

I still can't get why I can't think of any meaningful things to jot down for my essay even though I've stared at Kant and Paine for a while.

I need some distraction.

Essay time again.....[BAD LANGUAGE]!!!

2006-03-04T22:53:00.000-08:00

It's essay time again. I picked a prompt already, but I'm nowhere near formulating a thesis. And I feel trapped, unable to start.

And like all essay seasons, I feel compelled to complain rather than do anything about it. I feel rather lucky that I got an A (no - !) for the essay I wrote on Candide. Apparently, I was the only student of that TA to get an A. The pressure is horrifying, I feel. That I would write so well in the estimation of this TA (and of Caldwell) means that I am compelled to repeat the same act. Unfortunately, all three prompts revolve around good ol' Manny Kant. The prompt I picked asks "to what extent is the colonists' desire for independence compatible with the categorical imperative?"

As I said earlier, I'm having trouble formulating a thesis. Throughought the eleven essays I have written (yes, I have counted them all--no, this does not include finals) I have somehow managed to evade "to what extent" questions. Yet the only non-"to what extent" question is INMNSHO really prickly. So I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Then again, sleep is for the weak. I should learn how my classmates feel who only sleep four hours a day.

Another F/SN Caption "Contest"

2006-03-04T22:38:00.000-08:00

Saber: No...... they took my burrito.

Random F/SN picture (caption contest?)

2006-03-03T22:06:00.000-08:00

Shirou: Sakura....
Sakura: Senpai, you weren't supposed to see those pictures!
Shirou: Too late.

Why Marriage Sucks These Days

2006-03-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

From Vox Popoli:

WOMAN: Why are men so afraid of commitment?
MAN #1: Because we're not crazy. Look at how the deck is stacked against us.
WOMAN: Well, that's only because we've been oppressed for 10,000 years. It's payback time.
MAN #1: I never oppressed anyone.
WOMAN: Well, someone did. And who? Men! And you're a man, so obviously you're an immature, controlling would-be rapist at heart, so you'll oppress me and my sisters again unless we make sure the government keeps you chained down. We have to protect ourselves, you know.
MAN #1: Ooookay... gotta go.
WOMAN: Hey, where are you going? Look, I've got a diploma! What's the matter with you? Yeah, well, no one wants you anyway! You just can't handle a smart, sexy, successful woman.
MAN #2: What's going on? I heard some shouting.
WOMAN: Oh, nothing. (deep sigh) Why are men so afraid of commitment?

Random Fate/Stay Night movie

2006-02-28T23:47:00.000-08:00

Fate/Stay Night so far

2006-02-25T22:30:00.000-08:00

I have lamented, either on this blog but most certainly in my mind, that the series is draaaaaaging. Saber has been sitting on the sidelines for four episodes (including this one) and Shirou has been acting baselessly arrogant. Episode 8 was another one of those "building up the plot" episodes, when it seemed from the previous episode that Shirou and Shinji (Rider's Master) would get into a nasty fight.

Conclusion: No nasty fight between Shirou and Shinji (neither physical, magical or vocal). Shinji, candid enough to admit that he is just as inept a Master as Shirou tries to slither in an alliance between the two of them to screw over Rin. Shirou wisely (IMHO) disagrees. (IMNSHO, anyone who would betray She With The Awesome Legs has his head up his ass).

Shirou is now quite the player. Rin somewhat surprisingly and rudely makes herself at home at Shirou's place and this makes Sakura feel upset. (It also makes Shirou's teacher upset but I never really cared for filler comic relief characters in serious series). Saber finally has the nerve to tell Shirou that he has his head up his ass (at least when it comes to the Holy Grail War, not, as I said before, when it comes to siding with Rin) and does things her own way. We are also introduced to two new Servants, Caster and Assassin. (Technically, Caster was in episode 4 but she doesn't really do anything). The preview promises a huge battle involving Caster, Saber, Assassin and Rider. I hope it's good.

Baby Steps

2006-02-25T00:15:00.000-08:00

I am a member, as it were, of the UCSD Pre-Dental Society. I chose Dentistry, in all honesty, because I wanted to be called "Dr." but was discouraged at the difficulty of becoming a medical doctor. However, what I soon learned was that M.D. was one type of "hard" whereas D.D.S. is a totally different "hard."

To my surprise, I checked some statistics from 2004 for dental school admissions. Not a single California school had enrollment in double-digit percentages. I'm the type of person who is easily intimidated by those kinds of odds. However, I learned that the PDS attracts some of the most important people in the business and gets powerful people to do stuff for them for free. (And yes, I am wary of how they manage to do that). The "leader," I guess he is called, Dr. Silverstein, boasts about how being involved in the Society looks good on an application.

I could see why. Many of the hard-core members are practically dentists in everything but title. X-ray certification? Isn't that something they give to professionals? Yet some of these folks are not only that, but OSHA certified. No wonder all the big important people are impressed. I would certainly love to get in on the big action, but just like in admissions, spots are limited and competiton is big. Volunteering is actually easier said than done. Members cannot help out in a clinic unless summoned; other learning and enrichment opportunities have limited space. And there are about a hundred wannabe dentists all craving for the action. A hundred. That's bigger than the entire student body of a dental school.

My plan? I'm already at a huge disadvantage since I've only started attending Winter this school year. Other ~~bastards~~ students have started since Freshman year. (Looking through Frosh-Soph is my reflections on quitting school to become a mime or becoming a Welfare recipient to be a thorn on the .gov's side). I wish I could become a bigshot overnight, but I am reduced to beginning like any beginner does--in baby steps.

Batter up, Rin!

2006-02-22T21:52:00.000-08:00

Deity

2006-02-20T19:36:00.000-08:00

What's your inner deity? by Eurudite
Name/Username
Godly Name	Mournamune
God/Goddess of:	The Sun
Weapon of Choice:	Broad Sword
Area of Origin:	India
Animal Familiar:	Owl
Weakness:	Ice
Guilty Pleasure:	eating the whole bag of oreos!
Little Personality Quirk:	You are a masochist
Eyes:	Rainbow spirals
Hair:	Black with rainbow streaks
Special Features:	Wings of fire

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Shingetsutan Tsukihime

2006-02-16T21:33:00.000-08:00

I admit that my rationale for watching this 12-episode series was... mixed. I wanted mainly to see why some of the people on my forum and other sites like the Twins so much (The one with blue eyes is Hisui, the one with yellow eyes is Kohaku). I also wanted to see the other work by Type-Moon (the one I know of you should all know of if you've visited this blog in the past three weeks).

Seeing as how S. Tsukihime was based on a rather complex story with multiple endings, it would have been difficult to pull off a good, single story tying all the threads together. I did not let that bother me and thus I watched the anime without any reference to any website that would tell the story of the original game.

As a series, I found it half boring and half interesting. Yes, I know that sounds wierd. I'll try to explain. The boring half consists of the main character (who looks suspiciously a lot like Keitarou Urashima of Love Hina infamy) thinking about things and generally spending time with other people. The interesting half is the fact that many of the characters have wierd backgrounds and everything is not as it seems. Shiki may look like a Gamma (or even Omega) Guy, but he has a kickass power that allows him to obliterate anything from existence by slicing at the thing's (or person's) "death lines." the story begins with him moving into his family's huge mansion with his ice-princess of a sister who from the beginning I suspected was totally fucked up. In the first episode, Shiki already hacks some blond-haired woman to pieces. Then you just get sucked in. We learn a lot of crazy shit about Shiki, and the woman he kills (Arcueid), who COMES BACK IN THE NEXT EPISODE and makes him help her out. Then the two become an item (and we return to the boring part). Then we learn about Shiki and his sister's past. Then a boring part. Then Shiki's classmate threatens Arc. Then a boring part. Then Shiki and Arc have some tender moments together. Wait, that IS a boring part. And we find out indeed that Shiki's sister is messed up, but that issue is never explored deeper. More boring parts. Shiki, sister and friends (and Arc) go to an amusement park. That's boring, but the really wierd people have some friction which is kind of fun and interesting to watch. Then more boring parts, until the end where Shiki has some final battle with a powerful enemy and seriously owns him. And then his classmate (who is really such-and-such a person) take the credit.

By its own merits, the anime is mediocre or barely above average. Had I played the game first I would have been sorely disappointed by the anime, since the anime apparently omits a huge amount of story points and ignores some characters. I don't excuse the short series length--Ah! My Goddess accomplished a lot of exposition, character development and generally getting the audience to like the characters in less than half the time. If some of the "boring" parts were streamlined, I bet that S. Tsukihime could have included some more of the "important" parts they left out.

About the twins. I sort of knew from the beginning that Kohaku was supposed to be this totally evil person, but she doesn't really do anything in the anime... well, she lets Ahika suck blood on her left boob, but I don't think that's really evil. Just... really fucked up (and also the full extent of the nudity in the show--it wasn't even frontal). I would say that the one redeeming quality of the show is giving me the impression of Keitarou slicing vampire out of existence. The cognitive dissonance is simply intoxicating.

One down, more to come.

2006-02-09T16:03:00.000-08:00

I completed the BICD midterm six hours ago. I feel I got anywhere between a low B and a low A. However, there were enough weird detail questions that I reckon the mean will be in the high 60's. I am not too worried.

BIMM 100 is coming up. I made the mistake of prioritizing BICD 110 over it (and my stupid essay over everything). One thing I realized myself is that I cannot study any material for more than 2 hours at a time. I could study more than 2 hours in a day, but it has to be interspersed between fun activities. I think I did all I could; in the end, a lot of the stuff is glorified BILD 1 material. And there is always the Final.

Last-minute Triumph

2006-02-08T22:56:00.000-08:00

What is it about the moment of truth that brings out the best in people? Since this is Essay Season, I am of course talking about that--but this has happened even before HUM was a thought in my brain.

When I was doing Drama in high school, we could NEVER run through the entire length of the musical in any one rehearsal. Yes, we knew the parts but we never integrated them. But come opening night, the performance is surprisingly smooth.

Perhaps the fear of failure drives us. I will consider this topic in greater length next time.

Two in one, revisited

2006-02-07T10:37:00.000-08:00

This time, I will end with a more serious, pressing issue because what you use as end material is usually what is impressed into someone's mind. Therefore, I will talk about Fate/Stay Night first. DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNLESS YOU DON'T MIND SPOILERS (like me).

Now that I have spoiled myself with the synopses of the original Fate graphic novel, I can only say one thing--Shiro is BADASS. When I read the different scenarios it basically read like this: 1). Shiro's true power is actually this, which makes him badass 2). Shiro has another power that makes him kick metric tons worth of ass 3). Shiro is even more powerful and can kick so-and-so's ass like it were nothing (the only drawback is that Shiro is now an asshole). If you read the previous post, you would have learned that Archer (Rin's servant) is actually Shiro from the future. Since all the servants are supposed to be legendary heroes (Berserker is Heracles whereas Saber, oddly enough, is King Arthur), this clues you in to how much ass Shiro whips in the end. (It also makes sense that Shiro is Archer, since Shiro is a former kyudo-ka. What doesn't make sense is how he grows a foot taller and gets a bad tan). I now feel sorry that I thought of this series as a glorified version of Pokemon in which the Pokemon attempt to kill the trainers. I also feel sorry that I doubted Shiro and wrote him off as a typical Gamma Guy like all the other male leads of harem anime. (I haven't watched Tenchi Muyo and I frankly don't care to).

The only problem now is how the anime will turn out. It must be a task indeed to consider which scenario and ending to write into the show. Somehow, I think they must find a way to reveal the bombshell secret of Archer's identity no matter what scenario they choose (since after all, this is a one-shot thing and you hope your shot counts).

Now is the serious part. I spent the past several days languishing in despair over my essay. Now that I have three days left (including today), I now feel a sense of strange euphoria. I always seem to have that moments before a critical assignment is due or before a test starts. But before diverting myself to this endeavour, I did what all good essay writers do when making an essay from a piece of written work: SIT DOWN AND EXAMINE THE DOCUMENT, DAMMIT. I have also constructed, in my head, an alternate plan of attack in case I am ultimately dissastisfied with my current work (or more appropriately, if my TA is dissatisfied). Good essay writing, like good science, follows this maxim:

"If my approach fails, I must abandon it and construct a better one."

(Strictly speaking, this is a hypothetical imperative rather than a categorical one, if you would forgive the Kantian vocabulary. But in the middle of this gmish of responsibilities, I am also trying to internalize some readings). My previous approach was thus: Thesis (Candide holds an element of Leibniz's views but ultimately is more compatible with Bayle). Counterargument (Candide rejects Leibniz). Refutation (Candide holds this part of Leibniz). Further topics (Candide's views are better understood in the concept of Bayle, because etc.). The problem I have with this approach is that it seems to have two counterarguments that nullify each other and renders any discussion of Leibniz utterly useless (i.e. Candide doesn't reject Leibniz, but he doesn't affirm Leibniz that much really, so I wasted two pages of my effort and several minutes of your life).

This is another approach, but I may reject this one as well. You will see why further. Thesis (Candide is more like Bayle because etc). Grounding for argument (What is Candide's final understanding?). Comparison to Leibniz/Counterargument. Comparison to Bayle/Refutation and explanation why this is more satisfying. The reason why this fails in my mind is the inherent risk of plot summary, especially where explaining Candide's understanding is involved. Plot summary is just one of many ways to pad an essay. Padding an essay is much like padding a bra--it gives the illusion of substance where there is none.

In the end, rather than rejecting my previous approach, I think it would be better to refine my approach and think of a more satisfying counterargument.

Maybe I should be easier on Archer...

2006-02-06T21:56:00.000-08:00

From http://www.geocities.com/max3075/fate/ubw.htm

He was actually Emiya Shirou from the future. The artifact that summoned him was the pendant that Rin used to save his life. He really did become a hero that he wanted to! It was possible for him to be summoned from the future because the heroic spirits are beings separated from the timeline of our normal world. One thing that's different about his case is that he chose to become an heroic spirit himself, so he can help more people. Most of the other heroes are forced to become an heroic spirit because of their fame and power, but in Emiya's case it was out of his choice. He's been acting weird since the beginning of this story, trying to get at Shirou whenever he had a chance. The reason he wanted to kill him was because becoming a hero was very different from his ideal, and wanted to kill his existence beforehand. An hero can only save someone who he swore to protect and many sacrifices were made when he tried to do something. In other words, he was giving up. Through the fight with himself, he is shocked by the determination he had back then. He decides to keep on fighting once again. At the end, he tells Rin with a smile "I've got the answer. It's going to be all right Tohsaka. I'll do my best from now on too" He will keep on being summoned to fight for someone forever, but he's happy to do so because that's the choice he made.

Drowning

2006-02-06T10:40:00.000-08:00

I sure do fucking hate the writing process. That is, specifically, I hate the HUM essay writing process. Lab reports, though long and requiring great detail, do not require the same kind of wierd thought that HUM essays do. In a lab report that takes as much thinking and agonizing time as a HUM essay, much more time is spent in the lab report wrting, whereas the HUM paper takes up more time being puzzled and not being satisfied with one's own words. In short, it's pretty horrible.

This is the first time ever in HUM that I both am totally dissatisfied with my work-in-progress and that I can't find enough bullshit to say for the page limit. I should have fucking JC'ed this stupid course. But NOOOOOOOOO! I just thought I could be a man and slug my way through this stupid thing.

Maybe I'm too broiled up about the time I got that C+. I still haven't recovered.

Heh, poor Archer

2006-02-04T21:31:00.000-08:00

Two in One

2006-02-03T10:22:00.000-08:00

Since I have somewhere to be in less than an hour, I felt I should streamline my thoughts and combine two topics into one post.

First topic: Hum paper due in seven days. You know I am in a Hum class whenever I question my existence on earth and I can't sustain myself without bitching. I was phased, struck completely by surprise when a paper I worked so very hard on recieved a C+. Considering I also visited the TA twice to discuss my thesis, I felt like I had been hit with a Mack truck hauling bricks. Naturally I felt intimidated when the next essay I had to do rolled along, but then I felt a little more comforted when I thought about the prompt and felt I could write hundreds of words explaining quotations--words that weren't fluff. Still, I won't be impressed until it fits the page minimum.

Second topic: I don't know if Fate/Stay Night ep. 5 is out yet, but now I am torn between whether I like Rin or Saber more. On the one hand is the Magi With The Magical Legs (if you don't know who this is, scroll down a few posts and see for yourself). On the other hand, while Saber is not as pretty-looking, I am impressed with her personality. Shiro was warned that Servants devour humans to regenerate mana; but Saber told him that attacking innocent civilians was against her honor. Also, she is serious and caring at the same time. Of course, as episodes progress, we may find out that Saber is a total bitch (ditto Rin). But to say more about Rin, she doesn't seem all that bad herself. She helped Shiro after he was wounded (again) even though the two are locked in a life-or-death winner-take-all struggle. Maybe she is a nice person, or maybe she just wants to kill him with kindness, as it were, so she can take Saber. I don't know. Time will tell.

Saber

2006-01-31T23:45:00.000-08:00

If you have seen the "Tomkyou" blog, she should seem familiar to you, albeit with her hair in a bun and blue. I just found this pic on my forum's "Bishoujo Pic Thread." I like it. It looks so serene, like she is sleeping. But perhaps she is wounded. Anyway, enjoy:

I forgive you, Archer.

2006-01-31T23:24:00.000-08:00

*plants bomb under Archer's feet*

Unreasonable demands

2006-01-30T23:12:00.000-08:00

*finished episode 4*

For God's sake, is it too much to ask to put Saber on an internationally-acclaimed rock band, and give her a blue Fender Telecaster to match her outfit and some huge Marshall amps with 11 as the highest setting on all the knobs? I bet that she would put Beck, Clapton, Page, Greg Lake and all the other great Brits to shame if she were to do a solo.

While you're at it, why not make Rin the frontman(woman)? I haven't heard her sing, but considering that all frontpeople stand mere inches above from a ginormous crowd of screaming, obsessive fans, who better to do it than She With The Awesome Legs and Black Stockings?

I'm not sexist, either. Bands can be coed. Put Greg Lake on bass, since Saber's guitar-playing is already shaming his classically-trained ELP ass. At least this way he won't feel like a total failure.

Do we need a drummer? SHRUG, I guess we cannot do without. We already have three kickass people on this band, so is rhythm necessary? I believe the thundering applause of the crowd is rhythm enough. I'll get back to this. Short of reviving John Bonham or Keith Moon, I sincerely doubt I can find a cool drummer. I can't think of a cool drummer in the anime world either. Ringo Starr seems like a good choice, but I think his simian ass is better off resting in the laurels of Beatle triumph.

I lied again.

2006-01-30T20:11:00.000-08:00

Here's a superior Rin/Archer pic:

Let's see...more leggage, we see less of Archer's face, Rin doesn't look like a double mastectomy patient.... *thumbs up*

"Millions Knives with a bad tan"

2006-01-30T14:27:00.000-08:00

Well, at least I think so.

More of Rin, with Archer in the background. I have no idea what the text is saying. UPDATE: I realize this is a really shitty fanart (esp. since it looks like Rin survived a double mastectomy and we don't get to see more of her legs). Tough. I am too lazy to find a better one.

Fate/Stay Night

2006-01-29T20:42:00.000-08:00

For once, I am on the rising crest of an new anime phenomenon rather than becoming a fan of it three or more years after the peak of its popularity.

I speak of Fate/Stay Night, which is now available for download. I do not think it is liscensed. Only four episodes are available as I write (I have yet to see episode 4). Onto the anime itself.

It's about a Holy Grail War that takes place between 7 masters and their "Servants" (whose names are not names, but classes like Archer, Saber, Lancer, Rider, Assassin, Caster, Berserker). It's a fight to the death, I suppose and the last team standing wins. Only,... it doesn't actually have to be death. There's an overseer. Let me get back to that once I re-watch episode 3. But some other fellow (or lady) on the internet said that it is sort of like Battle Royale. I have not seen BR, but I know enough about it that it is like Lord of the Flies only much, much more violent.

Now onto some of the characters:

The main character is apparently a red-head named Shiro, who would remind me a lot of Kyou Sohma if only he wasn't such a doormat. Given that Fate/Stay Night was originally an H-ish interactive novel, one would expect him to be a typical spineless, uninteresting male lead of a harem anime. To an extent, this is true about him--but I actually like what I have seen of him so far. He is a just man, and still helps others even though they abuse him. Even though he is an absolutely incompetent (perhaps "inexperienced" is a better word) magician and wants no part in the War, he participates anyway so that he could have a chance to prevent tragedy. (Or perhaps the fact that he has a really great (and cute) Servant working for him influenced his decision).

You may already be familiar with his Servant Saber if you have visited the Tomkyou blog. I "borrowed" her head and changed her from a blonde to a bluehair and made her into the doting mother Humekitty Sabretooth Kitty. I have nothing much to say other than I really like her gauntlets.

And we have Rin Tohsaka. She is in a somewhat opposite situation from Shiro in that she is a overcompetent Magi with a Servant she is disappointed to have (Archer, who looks like Millions Knives with a bad tan). She is the most popular girl in school and I can see why--it's those legs. Damn those are fine legs. I also have a weakness for black stockings. I don't care if anything like this happens to her in the undoubtedly brutal Holy Grail War, just as long as they can preserve the legs. They belong in a damn museum. ROOOOOOWR. (It seems that Tomkyou is rubbing off on me).

Biblical villain?

2006-01-27T22:56:00.000-08:00

A Child of Israel
You scored 42% Pride, 30% Envy, 35% Ambition, and 37% Deceitfulness!

You are one of the Children of Israel. There were many good Children of Isreal (e.g. Jesus, Moses, Elijah, Daniel, Peter, and so on). However, for the purposes of this test, you are one of the bad Children of Israel. You are part of the chosen race of God, but in the Bible it seemed like you could never stop complaining and messing up. You are not really a biblical villain in the traditional sense. In fact, you possess a lot of godly qualities. You are humble, you love your neighbors, and you are quite trustworthy. However, your relative slothfulness and recalcitrance made it impossible for you to strive to reach the high purpose that God had for you. You were content to do just enough to get by. Therefore, since you're striving was not with God...it was against God. This is why you are considered a villain.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 26% on Pride
You scored higher than 21% on Envy
You scored higher than 13% on Ambition
You scored higher than 20% on Deceitfulness

Link: The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test written by MetalliScats on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

"In a sky full of people, only some want to fly, isn't that crazy?"

2006-01-14T20:33:00.000-08:00

If Santa answered his letters.....

2005-12-19T15:46:00.000-08:00

(hat tip to Physics Geek):

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud
boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and
write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE
can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Damien

Dear Damien,
Who names their kid "Damien" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle
of scotch.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I
spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind
by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table. Hey,you wanted to know.
Santa

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
skipping your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our house?
Love,
Joey

Joe,
First, stop calling yourself "Joey", that's why you're getting your
ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like
all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

MySpace "tragedy" reminds me the of purpose of MY blogging

2005-12-03T00:59:00.000-08:00

Some teen of the emo subculture killed himself and left a clue on MySpace.

This may sound cold, but let me do some posturing. My condolences go to the family of the boy; but I have absolutely no sympathy for him. I have no sympathy for those who use suicide as a means of getting attention--whether they go through with the act or not. Now would I try to stop someone I cared about from suicide? Yes; but if that someone remained recalcitrant, I would interpret that as a sign of great ingratitude and simply leave him/her to his/her own depridations. We are not God. We cannot be blamed if give up on someone who refuses help.

This whole thing reminded me of the purpose of my blogging. I don't want any attention--in fact, the fewer readers I get, the better. I am doing this for me.

Am I a Luddite?

2005-11-29T20:12:00.000-08:00

All I will say is that I have a healthy skepticism in science as a cure-all. Whether any of you conclude that I am a Luddite is up to you.

I do appreciate many of the scientific advances of this day. To state but a very few, scientific progress has made possible this blog and my picture of William Ichinomiya Tecumseh Shermantaro. However, even as such advances cure diseases, others help us annihilate our fellow man. And even if scientific advances let populations expand and live longer, is that really a good thing? Perhaps this is diverging a bit, but while the scientific community praises the longer lifespans due to medicine, increased food output and sanitation, they simultaneously bemoan overpopulation and advocate limited reproduction, which makes individuals born in this generation feel like... unwanted baggage. At least, that is what I think the logical outcome would be.

Not to step on the toes of my scientific bretheren--I am a Bio major after all--but perhaps the noble thing in not knowing whether or not you will live to see tomorrow (as so many people in the Old World do) means that you would appreciate what little you have today... and thank Whoever it is that gave you the little time you have.

Yeah, so I lied

2005-11-24T20:29:00.000-08:00

Earlier I had said:

I do believe that people (even me) are too afraid of death. What else can support multibillion dollar drug industries? Since latter half of the twentieth century, we have been so accustomed to science finding answers to all of our problems and curing all of our ills. We no longer expect to die before the age of fifty.

This final point could also be the topic of another post, but I'm running out of time. I'll just leave it at this: it is unreasonable to think that six billion people can possibly enjoy the same standard of living of a few hundred million, and this fantasy is what is causing liberals to have delusions. I'll refine this thesis some other time.

I was reading a criticism of The Constant Gardener. I have no intention of discussing the plot or theme in detail, but I did find a tidbit that made me nod:

The basic point is that Western civilisation has got itself into a situation where we are all whimperingly dependent on the march of modern medicine. The religious support of fortitude given by a providential understanding of what happens to us has gone, and the old Roman recourse to Stoicism as a philosophy can be found in Shakespeare but not much since. Spinoza might understand freedom as the embrace of necessity, but it is hardly a popular option, and our civilisation has nothing left to sustain it except biochemical technology.

My final post on unfettered scientism (for now)

2005-11-23T10:45:00.000-08:00

From Vox Popoli:

Science is not a religion, it is a method. However, belief in that method
can be and has been transformed into a religion.

Tying Two Threads Together (unintentional alliteration)

2005-11-20T13:26:00.000-08:00

I found another article I believe complements the post before the last. Here is a quote which I consider a keeper:

Appleyard writes, "We could not now respectably speak of 'the improvement of the race' or of 'selective breeding'--the terminology of the old eugenics--but we do speak of the 'quality of life' and assess our children in consumerist terms." Not only is the meaning of childhood distorted but the meaning of parenthood as well. Selective abortion means selective acceptance. The unconditional character of maternal and paternal love is replaced by choice, quality control, and an only conditional acceptance.

This is a terrible time to be a human being. It seems as if the only reason children are alive is because their parents haven't killed them yet. All the talk about "overpopulation" makes a human being feel like he is an unwanted space-taker.
These are interesting times we live in. At one end, we have First World Leaders unwilling or unable to put a meaningful effort to preventing or fighting wars (Bush notwithstanding) as populations in poor countries skyrocket, as do the number of casualties in conflicts worldwide. On the other hand, unfettered scientific progress looks ready to manufacture a post-human race, widening the chasm between haves and have nots. It looks like our world is primed for a disaster no one will withstand.

Out of it

2005-11-20T00:55:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get the feeling that everything is just wrong and there is no way to put it all together?

Inequality in the Most Concrete, Material Sense

2005-11-18T22:36:00.000-08:00

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/chronicle/archive/2005/11/06/INGKGFGTEG1.DTL

I started hearing of sex selection less than a decade ago. It seems sequitur that once something like that is acheived, other things will be as well. But... designer humans? That's just too creepy. That's even creepier than the lifelike robots they started building in Japan.

What are the implications of something like this? Increased longevity, and perhaps increased strength, durability, et cetera.... what these biologist tag as "Liberation Biology" seems more divisive than liberating. Obviously these new human modifications will cost a pretty penny, but the end result is humans that are.... better. It could be possible that these improved humans become so advanced that so diverged from the race that they would become a new species. Equality, as we know it would be destroyed forever. The have-nots.... what becomes of them? As a wannabe Libertarian, I usually ignore talk of haves and have nots--I'm no Leftist. But I have always counted on the de-facto equality of humans because of their common biological traits. But could modified humans be considered equal to their "natural" forebears? That is almost like asking if a housecat is equal to a lion. They may have some traits in common, but the differences are so marked and staggering that it's almost not worth mentioning their similarities...

This certainly reminds me of the movie Gattaca, but in that movie, they simply removed genetic defects and altered DNA to reach the maximum of human potential. They didn't try to create superbeings. I don't see the future as rosily as these wannabe gods do.....

Though Europe dies...

2005-11-18T12:02:00.000-08:00

"...realize, that Europe did not create Christianity. Christianity created Europe. And will create new Europes, wherever its living seed may fall. Christendom is simply moving -- to Africa, to Asia, to the Americas perhaps; to wherever Christ is wanted, and away from where He is not."

--David Warren

Fictional General of the Day/Week/Year/For All Time

2005-11-04T23:20:00.000-08:00

William Ichinomiya Tecumseh Shermantaro

Not getting it

2005-11-03T23:20:00.000-08:00

A reviewer rips Forrest Gump:

I hate this film with a white-hot intensity because it endorses -- not implicitly, mind you, but with big fucking capital letters -- the reactionary idea that ‘tis better to coast through life without an education, the power of reason, or a social conscience, lest you get AIDS and die like the atheistic, egghead dog that you are.

Forrest Gump was annoying in that it inserted the title character into moments in history. But besides that, it teaches us a lesson--that simplicity is better. You can go far sticking with a few solid principles than flitting and floating with every new passing mode.

Forrest simply does what his Mama advises him to do. While this offends the sensibilities of the post-Boomer generation who have been taught to question all authority (ironically, the people who our generation this ARE authorities in their own right), one must realize that all human beings are born naked, weak, and unable to go through life without SOMEONE guiding us. Usually that someone is a parent, and usually parents have the child's best interest in mind. This isn't always the case, but for a child to follow the lead of his parent takes FAITH. And faith isn't always blind--but this is beside the point. A little faith (in the general, rather than the religious sense which seems to so incese our reviewer) can go a long way--it can carry you where reason seems to crumble. In all things, Forrest simply remembers the advice of his mother, and that's all he needs.

What seems to irk our reviewer is that the free-spirited, hippyish Jennie is "punished" with AIDS for being not-stupid unlike Forrest. I sincerely doubt the movie wished to "punish" her for her ways. The review conveniently forgets the fact that Jennie was frequently sexually abused by her father, and that may have (scratch that, it DEFINITELY had) a role in her development. But unlike Forrest, she doesn't live a life of simplism--she follows whatever new, stylish thing hits the social circuit. And that eventually kills her.

What really annoys me about that review is the accusation that Forrest does not have a social conscience. That's utter bullshit. From his upbringing, he knows that he should treat people with respect. Furthermore, Forrest is mentally handicapped yet is cognizant of his weaknesses. We see this in his line "I know I am not a smart man." Since he is aware of his own shortcomings as a person, it makes him less likely to look down on others based on their "inferiority" (the basis of all racism). I guess what I am saying is that with humility like Forrest's, you don't need a social conscience. (Usually, people with a "social conscience" (perhaps like this reviewer) tend to have massive Messiah complexes). The whole "social conscience" argument doesn't hold water when one remembers that Forrest used his wealth from the shrimping business to build hospitals and churches (and when he gave his would-be partner's share of the wealth to his poor, black family).

I don't know why I'm even talking about this. Liberals piss me off, I guess.

Expected vs. Actual results

2005-10-29T23:52:00.000-07:00

I don't think I could be a scientist. I'm having difficulty interpreting the data of my experiment. The last set of experiments went well, I got a 90% on the lab reports.

The real pain in the ass is expected vs. actual results. If you don't get the results you want... you have a difficult lot of things to explain.

Speaking of expected vs. actual results...

You Were Actually Born Under:

You are solid, methodical, and you do things right the first time.
Even when no one else does, you always believe in yourself.
You tend to see the world in black and white, right or wrong.
A good memory and eye for details means you tend to thrive at near impossible tasks.

You are most compatible with a Snake or Rooster.

You Should Have Been Born Under:

What Year Were You Born Under?

Don't. Lose. Hope.

2005-10-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

Never give up, never back down! I've had some tiny bits of good news in the middle of this challenging quarter. I got over a ninety percent on my lab report. The mean was high, and I only scored a few points higher, but that certainly sounds better than the results of my Genetics midterm.

Which of course, segways nicely into Genetics. I failed the first midterm worse than one can ever possibly fail a midterm. I left a lot of spaces blank simply because I ran out of time. At this moment, I am beginning my Campaign Against Genetics Failure (ie, studying like a madman a week before the next midterm). If I don't get a ninety percent, I may as well give up... well, if I get an eighty percent, I may study even harder for the final.

This has happened before. In CHEM 6C, I also failed the first midterm worse than one can ever possibly fail a midterm. Six weeks later, I got an A- in the course overall.

Moral of the story--failing the first one isn't the end of the world. Having a class that drops low midterms is also a plus.

Some qualifications about the last post

2005-10-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

1. I am not a conservationist.
2. I am oppossed to the Iraq War, though probably for different reasons than your typical Democrat.
3. I am not your typical Democrat. In fact, I am not a Democrat at all...
4. ....nor am I a Republican (anymore).
5. I believe war can be fought for good/right reasons. Needless to say, most civilizations great and small would agree. Even in the tolerant Hindu religion, there is a warrior caste. If you have ever read the Bhagavad Gita, you know then that Krishna told whats-his-face to slaughter all those people because it was his duty. (Perhaps this should be saved for a later discussion).
6. I do not advocate genocide.
7. I do not believe overpopulation is that big of a deal.
8. I do believe that people (even me) are too afraid of death. What else can support multibillion dollar drug industries? Since latter half of the twentieth century, we have been so accustomed to science finding answers to all of our problems and curing all of our ills. We no longer expect to die before the age of fifty.

This final point could also be the topic of another post, but I'm running out of time. I'll just leave it at this: it is unreasonable to think that six billion people can possibly enjoy the same standard of living of a few hundred million, and this fantasy is what is causing liberals to have delusions. I'll refine this thesis some other time.

War! (huh!) Good God y'all, what is it good for? I'll tell you, you moron.

2005-10-25T23:04:00.000-07:00

We have become a nation of idiots. Strike that--we have become a planet of idiots.

Think about this--when is the last time you saw or heard of a conservationist who was NOT a pacifist?.... If you're like me, you've never heard of a single one. We live in a generation of people who demand their cake and eat it too. Eco-nuts preach contraception and abortion as a method to stem human population growth and protect the environment. Yet people most likely to practice contraception are the ones least likely to deliberately harm the environment, while African and Asian children desperate to kill any four legged creature for a bite are (quickly) beating out Whitey in the demographics wars. I'm certain one reason liberals hate the Catholic Church is due to their stance on contraception AND their hold on Third World people. But Catholicism alone cannot be the sole answer to Third World population growth, as (many statistical doomsayers say) Muslim babies are being born by the bushel (unintentional alliteration). And Muslims don't have a Pope to tell them contraception is bad.

So liberals have a problem: we have too many people in this planet. Most of these new people are Third Worlders who don't give a shit about the environment or lofty Western ideals. And all that our contraception is doing is erasing our pansy-ass civilization and environmentalist cant from the planet. Their solution? Education. Love. Outreach. All those bullshit things which never drove the Moors out of Tours or crushed the Nazi stranglehold on Europe. As a matter of fact, many of these dolts want to heal these undeserving poor. News flash people: if you want to halt population explosion, you don't support the species you want LESS of.

Which brings me to my original point: War. Anyone who knows a shred of Darwinian biology knows that species must be kept in check lest the entire system of things crashes to a halt. Mankind has reached a point in his existence such that no other creature on earth can threaten its existence. Disease is being systematically thwarted (although resistant bacterial strains jeopardize this) and people in general are enjoying life expectancies considered prodigious 1000 years ago. Furthermore, humans can alter their environment to maximize their survivability (i.e. FARMING). The only thing that can touch mankind is natural disasters, yet in places with great emergency response, casualties can be reduced. Whoops, I seem to have drifted. But war, war... Man is his only threat.

The best way to curb population explosion is to let all the little wars going around on the planet to continue, and to cut off aid to all those African tinpot dictatorships. But no, no! Liberals are ones who are oppressed by phantasmic demons of guilt and racism (more on this later). They don't want over population, but they can't staaaaaaaaaaand the thought of another African baby dying due to what they believe is White sin. And so the struggle never ends.

The next time you see a pacifist who is worried about overpopulation, kick him in the balls. If she doesn't have balls, trick her into believing that Hillary isn't running for office.

Which Historical General Am I?

2005-10-17T22:21:00.000-07:00

Ulysses S. Grant

You scored 66 Wisdom, 43 Tactics, 64 Guts, and 65 Ruthlessness!

Like you, Grant went about the distasteful business of war
realistically and grimly. His courage as a commander of forces and his
powers of organization and administration made him the outstanding
Northern general. Grant, though, had no problem throwing away lives on
huge seiges of heavily defended positions. At times, Union casualties
under Grant were over double that of the Confederacy. However, Grant
was notably wise in supporting good commanders, especially Sheridan ,
William T. Sherman , and George H. Thomas. Made a full general in 1866,
he was the first U.S. citizen to hold that rank.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 69% on Unorthodox
You scored higher than 7% on Tactics
You scored higher than 77% on Guts
You scored higher than 90% on Ruthlessness

Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

"Linux Users" are Assholes

2005-10-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

I say "Linux user" in quotes because I know more than a handful of people who are nice Linux users. What I mean by "Linux user" is the kind of person who wears a penguin t-shirt and sprinkles a bunch of technical lingo in everyday parlance. This kind of person also tends to wear horn-rimmed glasses, is rebellious in a very conformist sort of way and hates George W. Bush (I don't like him either, but typically conservatives and libertarians except Vox Day tend to be less bombastic in their criticism of him).

Why are "Linux users" such assholes? Hell if I know. But they believe that their beloved little kernel is the shit of the computing world. And they make their opinions known. And they denounce everything and everyone that don't conform to their narrow world view. I think "Linux users" outclass rednecks and fundamentalist Muslims in intolerance.

Supposedly, with Linux one could do a lot more things with a computer than if one simply had a PC or Mac. I don't know, and frankly I don't care. I only need my computer to do homework, blog, chat, ~~look at porn~~ and watch movies and listen to music. But from what I have seen and heard of Linux, it is a total bear and user-unfriendly. It's one of those things with massive amounts of lines and codes and a bunch of crap that only pale, horn rimmed spectale-wearing, punk music listening geeks with no social life can decipher. It doesn't matter to them that there are people who don't care for all those difficult things and would rather use Windows or MacOS to get the job done. But I guess since they can do things which are tedious and difficult for the vast majority of the population, they consider themselves superior.

I believe the reason they want to take down Microsoft is because they want to go back to a time when computers were inaccessible to the general populace and maintain an oligarchy on information flow.

What is the Breaking Point?

2005-10-11T22:24:00.000-07:00

I'd say the breaking point is when I kill myself. But no matter how intense the stress I recieve is, I can't bring myself to do it. I am (or was) the kind of guy who would wail like it was the end of the world when I lose a pencil (this was in fourth grade, or so I was told).

I haven't reached the breaking point, since obviously I'm typing this entry. I don't think I will either, since I didn't when my... accident happened. I was hysterical, yes. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. But I feel broken on the inside. I recieved more bad news today, suffice it to say. Under the advice of my... um, advisor, I won't give any details in case anyone actually READS this blog. But this new bad news, combined with stressors from class, made me feel shitty in a way I have never ever felt before.

If anything good can possibly come out of this, it is that this whole thing will be my driving force to enter Med school. Sure, Mom says that I shouldn't enter a career I am not passionate about, but then again I was never passionate about school and got by anyway. What made me get by in school was that I was absolutely, positively compelled (coerced, even) to go to school (I'll simply leave the homeschooling option out of this debate). I am not thrilled at the prospect of more studying, more "lab" time, residency and lack of sleep--since at the minimum six-a-day I am a basket case. Nor am I thrilled at the high malpractice insurance looming ahead. (Seriously, I am sick of insurance already). But if the worst case scenario comes true, I will have to get out of the red somehow--and a six figure salary can do that quickly with a little spending money left over.

I still don't want to be a doctor, though.

About to reach the breaking point

2005-10-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

Not totally related to this entry, but one person did show up at section yesterday. Whopee.

I think I may be close to (or at) the point where I realize I'm totally in over my head. What caused me to get there? Perhaps the fact that it took me two hours to do two practice problems in Genetics three days before the exam date did. Combine this with the fact that I now have the responsibilities of a leader (I'm not belittling the station of a TA) and a lab that is absolutely BRUTAL, and you'll see that I'm in the most sticky of situations. What's worse is I have no right to complain since I still live with my folks, who subsidize my schooling. Well.... I could complain about the fact that I lost my car, but then again, I've never had to pay for the insurance (though I do pay for gas).

Oh yeah, the car! I'm still waiting to see whether the police report exonerates me or says I'm totally fucked. Yes, I am near the breaking point. I am so pathetic.

Section of the Damned

2005-09-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

It's been two days since my first discussion section. I can summarize the entire experience in two words.

NO ONE CAME.

OKAY, THAT WAS THREE WORDS.

On the bright side, if this persists, I will never get a negative student eval...

Bitches leave

2005-09-24T23:39:00.000-07:00

I just discovered Word Verification for blogger.com. I was puzzled when I got wierd comments for my "Clarence Boddicker" and "Blame" posts that had nothing to do with the posts themselves.

I doubt anyone will read this blog, but! If you read my blog, you have to type in a word that appears in a graphic. Otherwise, I say to you, to quote my good friend Kurtwood Smith:

BITCHES LEAVE.

Could have. Should have.

2005-09-24T23:09:00.000-07:00

The tyranny of those four words.

[redacted for security]

"I could have stayed home. I should have stayed home." The tyranny of those four words is that they conjure up the Better World that May Have Been. All that these images do is razz you and sting you as you lap up the bitter milk of Reality.

Teaching

2005-09-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a TA for a biology class now. I don't want to get into specifics in case some classmates find this blog (I doubt they will, though).

Kinda edgy right now. It's been a year since I've had the class and I need review. They changed the books, but fortunately the department lets TA's borrow the book for a quarter. What I really fear is that I look like a complete idiot for fifty minutes.

Then again, the TA's I had were never brilliant beacons, either.

I'm a bishounen?

2005-09-18T20:01:00.000-07:00

"Bishounen" means beautiful boy in Japanese. The fact that I scored "bishounen catboi" on that quiz in the previous entry makes me feel--unwell.

1. Beautiful boy--the last time I saw those two words together in a non-anime context was when I read through a fan made script of Gladiator. The script said that Gracchus's (Derek Jacobi) "beautiful boy servant" notified him that the Praetorian Guard were coming. Reading it on text doesn't seem all that frightening, but when you see those twenty seconds on screen, it absolutely creepifying (is that even a word?) The beautiful boy servant looked like Pee Wee Herman with thick Mexican eyebrows and mascara. When you couple this with the fact of the rampant homosexuality in Classical period, you won't be able to sleep at night.

2. Most bishounen are vaguely androgynous. If you doubt me, just watch Fruits Basket or any CLAMP anime in which most of the characters are male. And look at the picture on the previous entry. If any man in real life wore those kind of jeans, you would not only be able to see his package, but also count the change in his pocket. I don't see Mr. Catboi's package anywhere. *shudder*

Perhaps this should have gone as an addendum to the previous post. Oh well, at least I wasted two minutes of your life polluting your mind with the thought of Pee Wee Herman fellating on Derek Jacobi. But give the former's track record and the latter's orientation, it really is not that farfetched a scenario.

OK, now I have to vomit.

The Kind of Catboy I am.

2005-09-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

You're a Bishonen Catboy!!! You're so pretty...you
put catgirls to shame. *_* You tend to be
sorta quiet and timid, but with people staring
at you all the time, you have reason to be.
^_^;

What Kind of Catboy are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Clarence Boddicker

2005-09-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

"Bitches leave."

Blame?

2005-09-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

Unless you're comatose or dead, you must have heard about Hurricane Katrina's destructive power upon MI/AL/LA, especially New Orleans.

It is all too humyn to blame something on someone else. A hurricane is no exception. Let's run the "guilty parties":

--America, for not ratifying Kyoto
--Bush, because he's to blame for everything
--The entire state of Louisiana (in general) and Gov. Blanco (D) (in particular)
--Liberals
--Conservatives
--Blacks
--Whites
--The National Guard
--Your next door neighbor
--etc, etc....

Frankly, this is pathetic. It is so much easier to point fingers than to help. It is also easier to say that we need to help than to actually help. I call this "compassionate chickenhawkism". But this is understandable, since to go out and help now would involve:

--spending prodigious amounts of money flying or driving to disaster areas (HurKat especially devastated oil and other commodities that travel through Gulf Coast channels)
--Risking life and limb against mobs of looters that include civilians AND police
--Wading through seas of shit

Me, I'm not looking for a safe place to stand on this shaky issue. The nobler part of me wants to go out and help, but the practical part of me realizes this is untenable. And the depraved part of me wishes to see depraved citizens of Mardi Gras land squirm a little while longer.

Loneliness, UT2k4 and Photoshop are a deadly combination

2005-08-12T13:24:00.000-07:00

Not necessarily loneliness in the romantic sense, but just not being around people. I should have also mentioned Windows Movie Maker. I've had a craze of movie and photo editing projects ever since Anime Expo ended. And I ditched MS Paint forever.

It's like this--if I'm not at work, or Arnis, I'm setting my ass in front of the Compy working on some crazy movie or Photoshop thingamajig. That, or I'm racking up frags in UT2k4. Good Lord, I need a girlfriend.

In the mean time, I'll just amuse myself with this animation:

McEvil's newest wage-earning servant drone

2005-07-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

I never thought it would happen, but I am now a McDonald's employee. Funny--with each new job I take, the hourly wage goes down. I guess at this rate, I'll be Sudanese chattel in my thirties.

The first two days were very exacerbating for me. I was hoping I wouldn't get a job that involved handling money. But, there I was, at the cash register. I was extremely flustered and kept getting mixed up. I don't know what it is--maybe it's just a (to pardon the stupid internet jargon) n00b thing. However, deep down inside I felt something say to me, "My friend, this is as good as it gets. Enjoy it while your hours are still light! Ha ha!"

Irrational fears, I hope. After all, since I am getting paid, it can't be that bad. And hopefully, I get better as I do it more. Unlike Kendo.

By my third day, an old lady who I've served before (and who I didn't recognize) told me that I was doing better than I was in the previous day. Maybe this is a sign that God still loves me.

What OS Girl am I? considers that question, then checks the plumbing

2005-07-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

You are Linux. You’re not as well known as the others, but you have a devoted following bordering on the fanatical, and with your penguin suit and GNU helmet, you will someday bring Microsoft toppling down.

I don't even use Linux. But yeah, the impression I get from most Linux users is that they are all either Communists or Unabomber types. Maybe both.